


Something

by ScorpioInk



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Blow Jobs, F/M, Hand Jobs, Oral Sex, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:15:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22443940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScorpioInk/pseuds/ScorpioInk
Summary: Is it worth risking a friendship for love? James Vega honestly has no idea.
Relationships: Female Shepard/James Vega, Shepard/James Vega
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Random plot bunny that wont leave me alone.

“Hey, Lola,” James saluted as Shepard walked from the elevator, “inspection time?”

“Inspection time,” Shepard confirmed, “I’ll be over to see you as soon as I’m done with Steve.”

“Sounds good,” James tidied his bench while he watched Shepard and Steve from the corner of his eye.

Steve smiled as Shepard spoke with him, seeming more relaxed than he had since Robert had died. Shepard leaned over to look at something Steve had pointed at, nodding as he explained some issue with the Kodiak.

James couldn’t figure out where he stood with Shepard. She was always friendly with him, and easily returned his flirtation, but he wasn’t sure she had held some reservations about him after he had served as her surveillance detail on earth.

The position had been a dream come true when Anderson had offered it to him. His chance to meet and learn from his mentor who had driven him to join the Alliance in the first place. To begin with, Shepard had been confrontational, but eventually, had warmed up to him. Near the end of their time on earth, they had enjoyed weekly movie nights, exercised together, and talked about everything from sports to music. There was no doubt in James’ mind that Jane Shepard was a very interesting woman.

Shepard had never brought up the fact that James had served as her prison guard, nor had she ever asked him if he was still reviewing her messages or reporting her activities to Anderson, but James wondered if she was ever concerned that he might be. James decided that when he could, he would let her know that he served as her arms master, nothing more.

“It looks good, Steve, great job,” Shepard smiled at him, “she’s never run better.”

“I wouldn’t do you wrong, Commander.”

“It’s Jane,” Shepard elbowed Steve affectionately, “you can call me by my first name if you want.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, yeah,” Shepard checked off on Steve’s inspection on her omni-tool, “we’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, we are,” Steve flushed, “thanks, Jane.”

“Alright, Lieutenant Vega are you ready for me?”

“I don’t know, Lola, are _we_ friends?” James crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against his bench.

“Of course we are,” Shepard rolled her eyes as she walked over to him, “we _lived_ together.”

“That doesn’t mean we’re friends, it means I had a job.”

“Well you tell me then, James,” Shepard stopped in front of him, not at all intimidated by his stance despite the huge height difference, “are we friends?”

“I want to be.”

“There were go then, we’re agreed, we’re friends, can I inspect your station now?”

“Your ship,” James shrugged and waved over his workspace.

“Feeling insecure today, Vega?”

“What gives you that impression?” James watched as Shepard inventoried the various guns in for repair.

“You’ve never asked me if we were friends before, normally you just joke about dancing with me,” Shepard glanced at him before moving onto the next item on her list.

“I guess I just wanted to check,” James explained, “in case I owed you an apology.”

“For?”

“Earth.”

Shepard stopped at that, looking up at him with a confused expression, “why would you?”

James shrugged, “I feel guilty.”

“Don’t,” Shepard turned off her Omni-tool, giving him her full attention, “seriously. I know Anderson asked you specifically to watch me, and I understand that must have been a difficult position to be in, but I don’t hold you responsible for being stuck with me.”

“No hard feelings?”

“None,” Shepard assured with a smile, “you big softy,”

James blushed, feeling the heat spread across his cheeks, “Hey, you’re important to me, I wanted to make sure you weren’t upset.”

“I’m important to you?” Shepard raised an eyebrow, “you’re adorable. Come here.”

James froze for a moment as Shepard pulled him into a hug, before gently wrapping his arms around her.

“Cute!” Steve called from beside the shuttle.

Shepard chuckled and pulled away, “he is pretty cute, he’s also missing a huge amount of supplies.” Shepard turned on her omni-tool and opened the inventory list, “come on, James, let’s get an order ready.”

***

James packed up his tools, turning to Steve, “ready for dinner, Esteban?”

“Sure am,” Steve followed James into the elevator, “so what was with the heart to heart with Shepard today?”

James gave a non-committal shrug, “I felt like I should apologize for earth, I wanted to make sure we were cool.”

“You got a thing for our Commander, Vega?”

“We’re just friends.”

“Are you?” Steve questioned, “I’ve never seen you flirt with someone like you do with Jane.”

“Man, she’s so far out of my league, besides, the Major is after her.”

“Well, yeah, Kaidan clearly has a thing for her. I don’t think it’s mutual though.”

“No?” James tried not to look too interested in that fact.

“No,” Steve considered, “she’s much more relaxed around you.”

The elevator chimed as they arrived on deck three, James following Steve as they walked to the mess hall.

“I was wondering if you two were coming up,” Shepard called from the island in the kitchen, “I saved you both plates before Joker ate it all. I swear he has hollow legs the way he puts food back.”

“Just hollow bones, Commander,” Joker answered from where he sat next to EDI.

“ _Gracias_ , Lola,” James took the plate from her and scanned the room for a table, “you want to sit with us?”

“Sure,” Shepard agreed, bringing her own plate over to the empty table and sitting across from James, “how was the rest of your shift?”

“Fine, I can’t figure out why Liara’s gun keeps jamming though. I’ve changed the trigger, I’ve cycled the feeding mechanics, there is no reason I can see that the heat sinks should keep getting stuck like that.”

“Is the barrel bent?”

James paused, food halfway to his mouth, “I don’t know, I haven’t checked.”

Shepard smiled, “Liara likes to use her guns to open doors, boxes, lockers, whatever. I wouldn’t be surprised if she bent it if she added some biotic force to it.”

“Huh, thanks, Lola, I’ll check that tomorrow.”

“I’m not just a pretty face, James,” Shepard winked at him.

“But you sure are pretty.”

Shepard rolled her eyes, grinning at him.

James noticed how quickly the smile faded when Shepard noticed Kaidan walking over, plate in hand.

“Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all, Major,” Shepard agreed, “take a seat.”

“How was your day?” Kaidan asked Shepard, James noticed, not the table.

“Same old shit,” Shepard answered almost dismissively, “yours?”

“Fine, I spoke with Hackett, a bit.”

Shepard just nodded, not asking Kaidan to explain any further.

“Jane,” Steve started, “I’ve been meaning to ask you, do you think we’ll have any shore leave coming up?”

Shepard checked her omni-tool, “a week, in about five days time. I was going to send out the notification tonight, why?”

“Remember that memorial wall?”

“You want to go?”

Steve looked at his hands, and Shepard reached across the table to grab one, “I’ll go with you.”

“Really?”

“Steve, of course.”

“Thanks,” Steve smiled at Shepard, “I appreciate it.”

“Friends, remember?”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe we could plan a get-together?” Kaidan suggested, “a party for the Normandy crew.”

“If you want,” Shepard nodded, “it could be arranged.”

“You don’t want too?”

“I don’t dance, I don’t really drink,” Shepard waved dismissively, “but it would be good for morale, so shoot for the moon Major, I’ll leave you to plan it.”

“We could plan it together?”

James felt an ache settle in the middle of his chest and reached up to rub at it absentmindedly.

“Alright, James?” Shepard watched the movement.

“Just sore. Too many weights I guess.”

“You go ahead and plan it, Kaidan. It’s not really my thing. I’m happy to host it at the apartment I’m staying at.” Shepard stood with her plate, grabbing James and Steve’s, “I need to get back at it. I’m working afternoons today.”

“You’re going to leave me all alone, Lola?” James pouted, bringing out his bottom lip as far as it would reach to exaggerate the motion.

“You’ve got Steve, and Kaidan,” Shepard waved at the other occupants of the table, “some of us work for a living. We can’t all go around surviving off of our good looks.”

“You could survive off of your looks, Lola,” James gave her a slow up and down, pulling a laugh from Shepard.

“Shut up, Vega,” Shepard put the plates in the dishwasher, “bye guys.”

“Bye, Jane.”

“See you, Shepard,” Kaidan watched Shepard go before turning his attention to James, “is there something going on between the two of you?”

“We’re friends,” James answered, fighting the urge to cross his arms over his chest.

“ _Just_ friends?”

“Yes, Alenko, just friends. Why, you planning on going for her?”

Much to James’ surprise, Kaidan blushed, deep red staining his cheeks before he answered, “I’d like too, but she doesn’t seem to want anything to do with me anymore.”

The ache in James' chest came back in a wave and he fought the urge to rub at it as he stood, “well let me know how that goes, Major.”

“Before you go,” Kaidan stopped him, “has she said anything to you, about me?”

“Lola and I were on earth for six months with nothing to do but talk. You can assume that she talked about the old crew.”

“I don’t suppose she’s mentioned _why_ she’s not interested anymore?”

“I don’t need Lola to tell you that, Major, I can give you two reasons off the top of my head.”

“Okay?”

“Horizon,” James watched Kaidan flinch and felt a small jolt of satisfaction, _good, dick deserves it_ , “and Mars.”

“I see,” Kaidan looked at his half-finished food.

“Later, Major.” James gave a wave and headed toward the crew quarters.

“That was harsh,” Steve commented.

“Was I wrong?”

“No, but you didn’t exactly let him have it easy.”

“He didn’t let Lola have it easy, either, but now he wants to play like everything is cool and win the pretty girl over. It’s _bullshit_ , Esteban,” James did rub at the ache in his chest now as he walked over to his bunk and dropped down on his back.

“Shepard’s a big girl, she doesn’t need you defending her.”

“I know, but it still felt good to let that _pendejo_ know that he was a dick to her.”

“I think you have a crush, James.”

“Nah, she’s just a good friend.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Steve rolled his eyes and picked up a datapad, “maybe one day you’ll believe it.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta read - the terrible grammar is my own. I'm sorry. 
> 
> I don't know if I actually have a plan for this, but I've written a few chapters and figure I'd toss them up.

“Hey, Lola, what’s new?” James greeted Shepard as she bee-lined for his weapons bench.

“My shotgun’s acting up,” Shepard passed him the weapon, “site is _way_ off, and it jammed on me twice yesterday. Normally I would just take it apart, but I don’t have the time. Do you mind looking at it for me?”

“Not at all,” James placed the shotgun in a vice on his bench, “I’ll make it my number one priority.”

“You’re a life-saver,” Shepard placed a hand on James’ arm and squeezed, James felt the skin tingle under her touch, “I owe you.”

“Take me out to dinner during shore leave and we’ll call it even.”

“Deal,” Shepard agreed easily, glancing up at the elevator as it arrived, Kaidan stepping out, “oh great.”

“Problem, Lola?”

“He’s been chasing me around the ship all day. He wants to talk to me about something. I’ve managed to avoid him until now, but he’s got be cornered down here and he knows it,” Shepard sighed, “might as well see what he wants.”

“I thought you liked the Major?”

“It’s complicated,” Shepard nodded at Kaidan as he approached, “hi, Major.”

“Shepard,” Kaidan greeted with a grin, “do you, uh, have a minute?”

“As long as it is _just_ a minute, I have a call soon.”

“It won’t take long,” Kaidan looked around the cargo bay, “come on, let’s go over here.”

James watched as Shepard slowly followed behind Kaidan, letting him pull her almost out of sight behind some crates. He wasn’t sure what Kaidan had said, but he had Shepard’s full attention immediately.

Kaidan seemed earnest in whatever he was saying to Shepard, wringing his hands and keeping eye contact. After a few minutes, Shepard answered him, and Kaidan _beamed_ at her. James brought a hand up to rub at the ever-present ache in his chest as he watched Kaidan pull Shepard into a hug that she seemed happy to return.

Shepard glanced over Kaidan’s shoulder at James, noticing the hand on his chest with an arched eyebrow. James quickly dropped his hands to Shepard’s shotgun, working on taking the action from it.

James kept his eyes on the gun until he heard Shepard next to him, “is your chest still bugging you?”

“It’s nothing, Lola.”

“James,” Shepard’s small hand over his stopped him, “you should get it checked out.”

“It’s just over doing it with the weights,” James didn’t move his hand, chancing a glance at Shepard’s face who looked concerned, “I’m fine.”

“Please?” Shepard’s golden eyes were pleading with him, and he could feel his reserve slipping, “I’m worried.”

“If it’ll make you feel better, fine.”

“Thank you,” Shepard squeezed his hand, “I’ll make you an appointment, I have to see Dr. Chakwas anyway.”

“Okay, Lola,” James watched as Shepard turned to leave, “what did the Major want?”

“Oh,” Shepard paused mid-stride, “to apologize, actually. For Horizon and Mars. I’m not sure what brought that on, but it’s better late than never.”

“That’s good of him.”

“Yeah,” Shepard seemed lost in thought for a minute, “well, I guess I should go.”

“See you, Lola.”

***

James arrived at his appointment right on time, rubbing the sore spot in the middle of his chest as he walked past the mess hall where Kaidan and Shepard were talking together by the oven.

“Lieutenant Vega, come in,” Dr. Chakwas greeted, “our Commander is quite worried about you.”

“I told her, it’s just the weights,” James sat on the table that Dr. Chakwas pointed too, “but then she gave me the puppy dog eyes and asked me to come and see you.”

“Chest pains shouldn’t be ignored, Lieutenant,” Dr. Chakwas powered up her Omni-tool, “lay back and let me take some readings.”

James did, grateful that looking up at the ceiling took his view away from Kaidan and Shepard.

“When did the pain start?”

James thought back, “just after Udina’s shit, I guess.”

“And when do you notice it, shortly after a workout?”

“It’s random.”

“Can you give me some examples?”

“Last night, at dinner when I was sitting with Shepard, Steve, and Kaidan. Today when I was working on Shepard’s gun while she talked to Kaidan. Just now, as I was walking in.”

“I see,” Dr. Chakwas lowered the scanner, “and now?”

“No, I’m fine now.”

“I just want to check the skin, make sure that there’s no rash. Can you sit up and take off your shirt, please?”

James did, peeling his shirt off and dropping it behind him on the table.

“Nothing I can see,” Dr. Chakwas looked at James for a moment, “I have some ideas…”

“Let’s hear it.”

“I don’t think it’s muscle soreness,” Dr. Chakwas started, “because you’re very diligent about not over doing it. I think it may be an emotional stress response.”

“Stress?”

“Stress,” Dr. Chakwas confirmed, “I think the pain may be a response to some emotional duress, similar to anxiety. The brain is a powerful tool, Lieutenant. It can certainly make you feel pain as a response to negative stimulation. The question is, what is upsetting you?”

“I don’t feel upset,” James considered, “I mean the war is stressing everyone out.”

“It certainly is, but that doesn’t explain why _this_ started after Udina.”

“No, the only thing that’s different since Udina is…”

“Major Alenko,” Dr. Chakwas supplied, “I was under the impression you two got along?”

“We do,” James frowned, “I don’t mind him.”

“I’m going to ask you a question, Lieutenant, and feel free to tell me if I’m crossing some boundaries.”

“Alright.”

“You don’t mind the Major, but do you mind the Major with Commander Shepard?”

“No.”

“Are you sure about that, Lieutenant?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Dr. Chakwas nodded toward James chest, where his hand had come up to rub at the ache. James sighed.

“Do you have feelings for the Commander?”

“We’re just friends.”

“You are, yes, and is that an issue for you?” Dr. Chakwas prompted.

“She’s out of my league.”

“She’s not,” Dr. Chakwas disagreed, “but that’s not what I asked.”

“We’re just friends,” James said again, forcing his hand down from his chest.

“James,” Dr. Chakwas gave his hands an affectionate squeeze, “I’m afraid there is no medication I can give you for unrequited love.”

“I know,” James’ spoke softly.

“ _Tell her_ , Lieutenant.”

James shook his head, “no point, the Major is after her.”

“Well then be a challenge for the Major,” Dr. Chakwas suggested, walking over to her computer terminal as James pulled his shirt back on, “and may the best man win. But don’t _not_ tell her because you assume you’ll lose. At least give her the option.”

“Why wouldn’t she go for him?”

“Because he abandoned her, Lieutenant,” Dr. Chakwas didn’t turn around but James could hear the steel in her voice, “when she asked him to join he turned his back on her, and the entire team.”

“He apologized for that today,” James stood.

“Wonderful, good for him,” Dr. Chakwas gave a shrug, “see if it helps him. Commander Shepard values loyalty over anything else. She may forgive, but she’ll never forget.”

“Thanks for your time, Dr. Chakwas.”

“Roses,” Dr. Chakwas glanced at James, “her favorite flowers are roses, and her favorite colour is orange, she also loves spicy food. For what it’s worth, James, I’m on your team.”

“Thanks,” James gave a nod, “I appreciate it.”

“Any time.”

James walked into the mess hall, his stomach protesting the lack of dinner. It was largely empty, except for Shepard who was chewing on her thumb with a concerned expression, looking at the kettle like it owed her money.

“Lola?”

Shepard jumped, “James, hi, is everything okay?”

“Yes?” James felt the side of the kettle and found it cool, flipping the switch to bring it back up to heat, “are you okay?”

“I was waiting to hear how you were,” Shepard explained, “you took longer than I expected, I guess I was lost in thought.”

“I’m fine, Lola,” James tried not to wince as his heart gave a hard beat, “fit as a fiddle.”

“Yeah?” Shepard looked relieved, “thank god.”

“Where did the Major go?”

“Oh,” Shepard looked around the hall, “no idea.”

“He was talking to you when I came up,” James checked the cupboards before deciding to make some soup.

“He asked me on a date,” Shepard poured the boiling water into her cup, “during shore leave.”

“Did you say yes?” James tried to not look interested as he turned on the microwave.

“No,” Shepard shook her head, “I didn’t.”

“Not interested?”

“Not in the Major, no.”

“Someone else caught your eye?”

Shepard gave a non-committal shrug, “come on, I’ll sit with you while you eat.”

“I guess I need to look for a hotel for shore leave,” James considered as he sat with Shepard.

“You can stay with me, if you want. Anderson is letting me stay at his place.”

“Yeah?”

“Sure,” Shepard pulled up the pictures Anderson had sent, “it has three bedrooms.”

“Nice digs, Lola. You sure you don’t mind? I don’t want to intrude on your love life.”

Shepard snorted, “what love life? I just shot down the only offer I’ve had.”

“Never know who you might pick up on the Citadel?”

“Yeah, no,” Shepard waved him off, “I don’t think so. I plan on movies, relaxing, and lots of good food.”

“I miss our movie nights,” James did, it had been a small tradition that he and Shepard had shared while they lived together on earth.

“Me too,” Shepard checked the time, “I…uh…may have snuck some popcorn on board. It’s after both of our shifts. If you have nothing else to do tonight?”

“Movie night?” James smiled, “hell yeah Lola.”

“Great,” Shepard stood, “meet me upstairs when you’re done?”

“Wait…in your cabin?”

“Where else? The crew is going to steal the popcorn as soon as they smell it. It’s the only way to keep it to ourselves.”

“You’re not worried?”

“About?”

“The regulations?”

“There are regulations about popcorn?”

James laughed, “no, Lola, but there is for fraternizing.”

“Oh,” Shepard waved a dismissive hand, “those don’t exist on the Normandy. Garrus is with Tali, Liara is sleeping with Javick, Joker is with EDI. Why, are you planning on making a move, James?”

James choked on his soup, “no!”

“Then what are you worried about?”

“I don’t want to get you in trouble!”

“James,” Shepard rolled her eyes, “I’m a Spectre. I don’t have to follow most Alliance regulations. Even if I _did_ , well,” Shepard gave a shrug, “some things are worth the risk.”

James didn’t have a response to that, giving a small nod instead.

“See you in a few,” Shepard gave a wave and walked off to the elevator.

“I hate to say I told you so,” Dr. Chakwas commented from the med bay door, “but it certainly seems as if our Commander may be interested in you.”

“She was talking generally.”

“No, she wasn’t,” Dr. Chakwas moved to sit across from James, “you know she wasn’t.”

“What do I have to offer her?” James asked, “she could have whoever she wants.”

“What if, James, who she wants is _you_?”

“Nah,” James shook his head, “I can’t see it.”

“Then clearly, Lieutenant, I should have checked your eyes when I had you on my exam table.”

James chuckled, “you’re pretty convinced.”

“I am,” Dr. Chakwas agreed.

“It’s a nice thought,” James stood, taking his bowl to the dishwasher, “I still say she’s out of my league.”

“I still say you’re wrong. Now, I believe our Commander is waiting for you?”

“Yeah,” James looked down at his clothes, “I wonder if I should change.”

“I would get into something comfortable on,” Dr. Chakwas suggested, “sweats are more comfortable than cargo pants when you’re cuddling.”

“Who said anything about cuddling?”

“I did,” Dr. Chakwas shooed James from the kitchen, “go.”

“Okay, okay,” James made his way to the crew quarters.

“Hey, James,” Steve greeted as he walked in, “time for a drink?”

“Sorry, Esteban,” James looked around the room and found it empty other than Steve, “I’m having a movie night with Lola.”

“Oh,” Steve arched his eyebrow, “are you finally acting on that crush of yours?”

“Does _everyone_ know?”

“No, but I’m your best friend, right?”

“Yeah,” James pulled out a pair of clean sweats and pulled them on, “don’t spread it around, okay?”

“I wouldn’t,” Steve promised, “I heard she shot down Kaidan today.”

“Yeah, she told me.”

“He’s pretty upset about it, he’s drinking in the observation lounge.”

“Oh well, he shouldn’t have been such a jerk to her then,” James checked his reflection in the small mirror on the wall, fixing his hair.

“Should I expect you back tonight?”

James nodded, “just a movie night.”

“Make a move, Vega. She adores you.”

“Just friends, Esteban.”

“Uh huh,” Steve rolled his eyes, “whatever you say.”

***

James rode the elevator up to Shepard’s cabin with butterflies in his stomach. He had feelings for her, he knew that he did, but was it worth risking a great friendship to change that?

James wasn’t sure.

The elevator slid open and James found himself looking at the door to Shepard’s cabin unlocked with a small paper note on the door.

_In the shower – make yourself at home -Jane_

James opened the door and took a tentative step inside, hearing the water running in the shower though the bathroom door.

James walked down to the couches, stopping to admire the fully stocked fish tank as the exotic fishes moved through the water, following him as he walked the length of the room.

Shepard’s room was tidy, as it always was, with almost nothing in the way of personal items in the space. James had noticed that the last time he had come up too, which is why the picture frame on the bedside cabinet caught his attention.

James took the frame from the table, watching as the pictures cycled through. First a picture of Shepard and Liara, then a picture of Shepard and Wrex, to the surprise of James, a picture of him and Shepard.

The picture had been taken by Anderson, during one of their scary movie marathons. Shepard and James were half hidden under a blanket, Shepard clinging to one of his arms with a look of concern on her face, James equally focused on the screen. It was one of James’ fondest memories from his time of guarding her.

The pictures continued to scroll, and James noticed that there were no pictures of Shepard with Kaidan.

James jumped when he heard the bathroom door open, quickly placing the picture frame back where he had found it.

“James?” Shepard called.

“Yeah, I’m here, Lola,” James walked back to the fish tank so Shepard could see him, “ready for bed?”

Shepard glanced down at her outfit, a black Alliance tank-top and dark blue Alliance shorts, “my pjs,” Shepard shrugged, “you look like you wanted to be comfortable too.”

“I figured it would be better than cargos,” James noticed that Shepard’s hair was down, only half dry, and a brush still in her hand. Shepard’s hair was _always_ up in the regulation bun, so it was a shock for him to see that the ebony locks fell to her waist.

“What?” Shepard noticed him staring.

“Nothing, it’s just…your hair.”

“What about it?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen it down.”

“It gets in the way, so I always braid it and put it in a bun,” Shepard started to brush her hair, “let me just tame it a bit, and we can pick a movie.”

“Sure, no rush,” James looked around the room, something about Shepard causally brushing her hair in pyjamas seemingly too intimate for James to handle, his heart aching in his chest.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, James?”

“Just thinking it must be pretty tiring brushing hair that long.”

“It is,” Shepard walked down to the couch, sitting while she worked the knots from her hair.

“Want some help?”

 _Really?_ James brain supplied; _you’re offering to brush her hair? You can’t decide if you want to stay friends or make a move and now you want to torture yourself?_

“Sure,” Shepard held the brush out to him, turning her back to him as he took it and sat behind her.

James took a quiet breath as he set brush aside and started to finger comb the knots from Shepard’s hair, working slowly. James wasn’t prepared for the contented hum that came from Shepard as he worked. Heat settling in his core at the sound.

“Okay, Lola?”

“It feels nice” Shepard sounded relaxed, “I can’t think of the last time that anyone did something with my hair. I haven’t had it cut in years.”

“It’s pretty,” James started with the brush, gently brushing the remaining knots away, “did you want me to braid it?”

“Do you know _how_ to braid it?”

“Yeah,” James split Shepard’s hair into three even sections and started weaving them together, “do you have an elastic?”

“Here,” Shepard held it up for him.

James tied off the braid and dropped it over Shepard’s shoulder to inspect.

“Well done,” Shepard ran her hand over her hair, “thank you. How did you learn to do that?”

“I used to take care of my moms’ hair, when she was sick.”

“Aw,” Shepard turned to face him, “that was kind of you.”

“She was my mom,” James shrugged, “of course I was going to take care of her.”

Shepard stood, walking over to her desk and pulling out two bags of popcorn, placing one in the microwave, “how old were you when she died?”

“Sixteen.”

“That’s so young, I’m sorry.”

“What about your parents?” James asked, “they still around?”

“Yep, my mom is an Admiral, my dad is with the Alliance too, but he’s a private contractor working on FTL drives for future ships.”

“So you’re an army brat?”

“Absolutely. I’ve spent my entire life on a ship,” Shepard took out the first bag and put in the second, “I seriously considered going into teaching, but it seemed wrong to change up the entire family history of working with the Alliance, so here I am.”

“Where do you get the love of movies from?”

“My big brother. He’s not around anymore.”

“Oh, sorry to hear that, Lola.”

“He would have loved you. You two would have been best friends right away. When I say big brother, I mean by two minutes. We were twins.”

“Shit, really? What was his name?”

“John. Come grab the popcorn and I’ll bring over the drinks.”

James caught the popcorn bags as Shepard tossed them over to him, “I want to see what a boy version of you looks like.”

“We looked nothing alike. I look like mom, John looked like my dad,” Shepard grabbed two cokes from her fridge, “he was a good guy though, hang on and I’ll bring up a picture.”

James sat on the edge of Shepard’s bed and watched as the screen turned on and a picture of Shepard next to her brother appeared. While John certainly had a lighter complexion than Jane did, it was clear that they were siblings.

“Was he Alliance too?”

“Yep, a Marine.”

“N7?”

“No, he died while I was away for training.”

“That’s rough, Lola.”

“I’ve lost lots of people,” Shepard pointed out, “we have a wall of names downstairs. They’re all my family too.”

“I get it.”

“Are you picking the movie, or am I?” Shepard pulled up her omni-tool.

“You can,” James moved back on the bed, setting the pillows against the headboard and leaning back against them, leaving a space beside him for Shepard.

“Any genre you want?”

“No romance.”

Shepard laughed, moving to sit next to him, “really?”

James knew his heart couldn’t take it, “not in the mood.”

“I bet you’re secretly a romantic, Vega.”

“For the right girl, sure.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you date.”

“I haven’t dated since we’ve known each other.”

“What the matter, James, think I’m going to scare your girlfriends away?”

“Nah, just not interested in any of the offers I’ve had.”

“Are you interested in anyone?” Shepard picked a horror movie and queued to start, “Kasumi was talking about you the other day.”

“She scares me.”

“She scares me, too, but that doesn’t mean you’re not interested.”

“No, I’m not interested in Kasumi.”

“Anyone else?”

“You’re curious tonight, Lola,” James opened his popcorn, “you want to ask me out on a date?”

“If I thought you’d say yes I would,” Shepard turned to place her coke on the bedside cabinet, missing James’ shocked expression, “but I was thinking I could play wingman. Just because I’m lonely as all get out doesn’t mean that you need to be.”

“You’re lonely?”

Shepard looked at him, hesitating for a minute before answering, “ _of course_ I’m lonely, James. I’ve been single since before the SR1, all the people I may have been interested in moved on when I died, the SR2 was chaos, and now I’m in the middle of a war. Who wouldn’t want some companionship during a time like this?”

“Lola,” James pulled Shepard into a hug, “I didn’t know you were lonely, why didn’t you tell me?”

“What am I supposed to say? James, can you come hang out, I’m depressed and sad that I have to save the world, kill my friends, and not get laid while I do it?”

“You don’t need to say anything, Lola, we’re friends. Just schedule a movie night and I’m here.”

“Okay,” Shepard sounded embarrassed, avoiding James’ gaze as she pulled away from the hug and opened her popcorn.

“I mean it, Lola.”

“I know.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not beta read
> 
> I'm bad at this

“Holy shit,” Shepard jumped, hiding her face against James’ arm, “I fucking _hate_ jump scare horror movies.”

“Why did you pick it then?” James considered for a minute before lifting his arm and wrapping it over Shepard’s shoulders. _Idiot_ , his brain supplied, _brushing her hair wasn’t bad enough, now we’re cuddling_.

“It said it was good on the extranet,” another monster jumped in front of the camera and Shepard turned her face into James’ chest, “Christ.”

“You shot down a Reaper.”

“It didn’t jump out at me!” Shepard protested.

“You’re a weird one, Lola.”

“Shut up,” Shepard kept her face hidden in James’ chest, “tell me when they kill them.”

James chuckled, running his hand over Shepard’s back as she hid, “wimp.”

“I’m not a wimp,” Shepard protested, fisting his shirt, “I don’t like things jumping out at me.”

“You should be good now, Lola, our hero has a gun,” James didn’t move to pull his arm away from Shepard, keeping her close. To his surprise, Shepard didn’t pull away either, instead resting against James’ chest as she watched the movie.

Eventually, Shepard let go of her tight grip on James’ shirt, resting her arm across his stomach.

 _This is 100 percent cuddling,_ James looked down at the top of Shepard’s head, _you can not convince yourself that this is anything but cuddling_.

James wondered if it was so bad. They both seemed content with the situation. Maybe they could be friends who cuddled.

 _You’re an idiot,_ James heard his internal dialogue cut in, _you’re practically in love with the girl and you want to be friends who cuddle?_

James shifted in his spot, trying to get out of the internal battle inside his brain.

“Sorry, did you want me to move?” Shepard glanced up at him.

“No, Lola, you’re good.”

“I’m laying half across you,” Shepard commented, but dropped her head back where it had been.

“I don’t mind.”

Shepard was quiet for a few minutes before tentatively asking, “James, what are we?”

“What do you mean?”

“You flirt, you always make time for me, you protect me, I mean I wouldn’t be surprised if you knew my favorite colour.”

“Orange,” James supplied.

“See!” Shepard moved, sitting and facing James rather than the TV.

James’ immediately missed the warmth of her pressed against him, “So?”

“What are we? Do you have feelings for me, are you just messing with my head?” Shepard sighed, “are you leading me on to shoot me down later?”

“Lola-“

“I swear, sometimes it feels like you actually _feel_ something for me. Like I can see something in your eyes when you look at me. Sometimes it feels like I’m just a good friend,” Shepard sighed, “can you just tell me where you stand?”

James considered for a minute, “I…guess I don’t really know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean –“James stopped himself, trying to consider how to word it, “I’ve never had a friend like you, Lola. Ever. You’re really important to me. I’m not going to lie to you and say I’ve never considered us being more, but I would hate to lose you as a friend if we tried to date and it didn’t work out.”

Shepard’s face fell, the mask slipping for just a moment before she recovered, and James wished he could take it all back.

“Okay,” Shepard laid back on the bed beside him, “thanks for telling me.”

“What about you? Where do I stand with you?”

“Does it matter?”

“Lola,” James elbowed her gently, “of course it does.”

“I have feelings for you,” Shepard didn’t take her eyes off the screen, “I would like to be more than friends. I wouldn’t want to lose you if it didn’t work out, though.”

“So, we’re in the same boat?”

“Sort of,” Shepard offered, “except I would take the chance, because I think we would work out. I think we’re kind of perfect for each other.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

The rest of the movie was watched in relative silence, James not concentrating on the plot, instead considering Shepard’s observation of their relationship.

As the credits rolled, Shepard looked at James for the first time in what felt like hours before announcing, “that movie was awful.”

“Yep,” James agreed, “I get to pick on our next movie night.”

“Deal,” Shepard balled up the empty popcorn bags and took them to the garbage.

James checked the time and sighed, “I guess I should go.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Shepard offered, walking beside James in silence to the elevator door.

“Lola,” James pressed the button for the elevator and looked at Shepard, “are we okay?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?”

“Our conversation…”

“I’ll get over it, James, don’t worry,” Shepard gave James a sad smile, “I just needed to know to move past it.”

James didn’t want Shepard to move past it. In that moment, James knew with absolute certainty that the last thing he wanted was for Shepard to get over whatever feelings she had for him.

_Then do something, moron._

“What if,” James started, “we dated, and it didn’t work. Could we go back to being friends?”

“I don’t know,” Shepard answered honestly, “I haven’t dated in so long I can barely remember what it’s like.”

“I don’t want to lose you, Lola.”

“I know, it’s okay. I’ll see you in the morning,” Shepard pat James on the chest and turned to leave.

“Jane,” James reached for Shepard’s shoulder, “let me think about it.”

“I don’t want a date out of pity,” Shepard turned back to look at him.

“I want you, Lola. Don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful, funny, capable,” James winked at Shepard, “but our friendship, that’s precious to me.”

“It’s fine, James, really.” Shepard sighed, “you should go, get some sleep before you’re mouth gets you in trouble. You’re so concerned about hurting my feelings you’re going to say something you don’t mean.”

“Don’t I at least get a good night hug?”

“Sure,” Shepard let James pull her into his arms, returning the hug as the elevator arrived, “good night, James.”

“Good night, Lola,” James stepped into the elevator, standing in the way of the sensor.

“What now?” Shepard asked, amused.

“I don’t want to leave.”

“You’re tired, go.”

“You have a bed up here.”

“I do, it’s _my_ bed,” Shepard laughed, “ _go_.”

“Just wanted to see you smile before I left,” James took a step back, “night, Lola.”

“Bye, James.”

Shepard watched the door close and walked back into her room, walking straight to the small fridge and pulling out a bottle of wine. Forgoing a glass, Shepard opened the bottle and took a long drink before turning on her comm-unit.

“Shep? What’s up?” Kasumi’s voice sounded in Shepard’s ear, “something you need me to steal?”

“No.”

“World coming to an end?”

“Worse.”

“What’s worse than the end of the world?”

“Boy troubles.”

“Oh, shit,” Kasumi could be heard opening a bottle of something through the phone, “spill.”

***

“You said _no_?” Steve sounded scandalized, “NO?”

“I know,” James groaned, “Esteban, what do I do?”

“Go upstairs and beg for forgiveness?”

“Esteban, be serious.”

“I am being serious. James, she’s one of the best, don’t miss this chance.”

“And we break up and then what?”

“Why are you assuming that you’d break up?” Steve rolled his eyes, “seriously? Do you normally go into relationships already thinking about the end?”

“It feels too good to be true.”

“James,” Steve sat on his bunk with him, “she’s perfect for you.”

“I know.”

“She’s beautiful.”

“I know.”

“ _Go for it_.”

James sighed, dropping his head on Steve’s shoulder, “she’s really important to me.”

“I think everyone on the crew knows that, James.”

“You know when you think of that best friend that you’ll have forever? That’s Lola for me.”

“Yeah, I get that, but what does that have to do with you two dating?”

“Have you ever had a friend like that?”

“Well I have you,” Steve offered, “and I had one other friend like that.”

“Had?”

“Yeah, I married him.”

“Oh.”

“James, think about it this way. There is _no_ chance that Shepard is going to spend her life single waiting for you to make up your mind. How would you feel if she went on a date with someone else?”

James felt immediately nauseous at the thought, “not good.”

“There you go. My dad always used to say it’s not what your life looks like with them, it’s what it looks like without them. Your movie nights? Well any partner of Shepard’s is not going to be okay with you two cuddling and watching horror movies. You’re going to lose her to someone else, James. Either decide you two are friends and be the best damn friend she’s ever had and cut the flirting shit, or ask her on a date and live happily ever after.”

“Okay.”

“You alright, big guy?”

“What would you do, Esteban?”

“I would go after her. I would buy her flowers, take her to dinner, and romance the hell out of her. Hell, I’m gay and I’ve considered it. If anyone in this world deserves some love, it’s Shepard.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“James,” Steve pushed James to sit up, “whatever you do, do it quick. We could all die tomorrow, don’t waste time.”

James nodded, “I need to sleep on it.”

“Well then get some rest, amigo.”

***

The next time James saw Shepard she was storming into the mess hall with a hologram of the Salarian Dalatrass following her.

“Commander,” the Dalatrass was pleading, “see reason.”

“No,” Shepard poured herself a cup of coffee, ignoring the crew who was watching the interaction with interest.

“The Krogans will run rampant, they will move to take over the galaxy.”

“I am _not_ unleashing another genophage.”

“The Krogans-“

“Did I fucking stutter?” Shepard turned to the hologram, arms crossed over her chest.

“ _Excuse me?”_

“Did. I. Fucking. Stutter.” Shepard spoke slowly.

“No – but.”

“No. Dalatrass my answer is no. I won’t let fear compromise who I am. The Krogans have their cure, and they’re going to keep it. Goodbye.” Shepard disconnected the call with a sigh, draining her cup and pouring another. “Sorry about that, folks.”

“Another genophage?” Garrus inquired from his seat, “already?”

“They’ve been preparing in case the original failed,” Shepard leaned heavily on the counter, “she offered Salarian aid if we helped them spread it on Tuchunka.”

“She seems pretty convinced that the Krogan are going to overrun the galaxy.”

“That, my spikey headed friend, is because she’s a fucking idiot,” Shepard sat down heavily next to James, across from Garrus, “she’s had all her best scientists run numbers, and she’s saying they have the ability to rebuild their population within ten years and then they’ll be out for revenge.”

“But…?”

“But,” Shepard continued, “they haven’t factored in the current population of Tuchunka, the fact that a number of Krogan live elsewhere and have not been exposed to the cure, the fact that the Reapers will likely kill the Krogan in a proportionally higher number of their populous then say, the Turians, because they are more likely to be in front line combat roles.”

“So you’re saying that their numbers are wrong because they haven’t looked at it from all the angles?” James summarized.

“That’s exactly right,” Shepard sighed, “she’s scared, she thinks that Krogans can’t see reason. That’s not true. I’ve talked reason into Wrex, Grunt is very sensible. They have a lot of growing to do before their population reaches any kind of number to be dangerous and if they have level heads leading them, we’ll be just fine.”

“You’re taking a risk though,” Garrus countered, “remember Wrex’s brother?”

“I do,” Shepard agreed, “but I also remember a time when I was told that every Turian I met would likely kill me. You and I have worked together for years, I trust you with my life. We need to be open to the idea that all of our ideas of other races may be wrong. People can change.”

“This is why you’re the smart one, Lola,” James wrapped his arm over Shepard’s shoulders.

“Yeah, I guess,” Shepard sighed, “it’s exhausting being me, sometimes.”

“We’ll get through it, Lola.”

“I hope so,” Shepard glanced up as Kaidan walked into the mess hall and stopped short as he saw James with his arm over Shepard, turning and walking from the room, “uh oh, I better go deal with that.”

“What’s his problem?” Garrus asked, looking at the space Kaidan had just left.

“He asked me on a date yesterday, I said no,” Shepard sighed, “he probably didn’t like seeing James with his arm over me.”

“He should be used to it, everyone knows James has a thing for you.”

James coughed, flushing and pulling his arm away.

“That’s a whole other issue, Garrus,” Shepard stood, “see you later.”

James watched Shepard as she left, “Scars, what the fuck.”

“I’m sick of watching you pine after her,” Garrus shrugged, “thought it might spur you into action.

“We talked about it last night, we don’t want to risk the friendship.”

“Bullshit,” Garrus replied quickly, pointing a finger in James’ face, “ _you_ don’t want to risk the friendship. Shepard’s entire life is made up of risks. She would go for it.”

“How do you know?”

“Because,” Garrus lowered his voice, “she and I almost slept together, back before the Collectors. I started talking to Tali though, so we never got around to it. If she was willing to sleep with _me_ , talons, spikes and all, then she would definitely go for you.”

“Oh.”

***

_I think I resolved everything with Kaidan, but you might want to steer clear from him for a couple days – JS_

_What did you say? – JV_

_That we’re just friends – JS_

_And he’s okay now? – JV_

_I don’t think he believes me, but we talked for a bit and hung out until he felt better -JS_

_Well that’s good – JV_

_James, would you be upset if I went on a date with Kaidan? – JS_

James felt the room spin and staggered to his chair, sitting heavily.

“Okay, James?” Steve called to him.

“Shit,” James shook his head and re-read the message.

“What’s going on?” Steve read the message over James’ shoulder, “uh oh.”

“What do I do?”

“Make up your mind.”

_Why would you, I thought you weren’t into him? – JV_

_I need a night to feel special to someone. I’m lonely. I can’t keep doing this alone. I wont though, not if it bothers you. – JS_

“What do I say?”

“You have two choices, you can tell her the truth, which is that you’re hung up on her but a fucking coward, or you can let her move on and firmly cement yourself in the friendzone forever.”

“Shit,” James ran a hand over his face, “ _shit_ , I thought I had more time to think about this.”

“You’ve had months, James,” Steve crouched next to him to look at his face, “ _months.”_

_James? – JS_

_I don’t have an answer for you, Lola. I don’t want you dating someone else, but I still don’t know if I can take that risk – JV_

“Idiot,” Steve sighed, “you’re going to lose her as a friend and as a girlfriend.”

_That’s not very fair – JS_

_I know it’s not, I’m sorry. – JV_

_I’ll give you until shore leave. Make up your mind or I’m going on a date with Kaidan – JS_

_Okay – JV_

“You are _so_ lucky that Jane is that mellow,” Steve stood, rolling his eyes, “you’re just being mean to her now.”

“I need somewhere to go and think.”

“Sit in the Kodiak,” Steve shrugged, “but sort your shit out.”

***

Shepard was missing from dinner that night and breakfast the next day.

“Where is she?” James looked over the room.

“Avoiding you,” Steve answered, “clearly.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re an asshole who’s stringing her along and stopping her from enjoying her life because you’re a coward.”

“Uh, harsh Esteban.”

“Calling it how I see it, Mr. Vega. Jane is my friend too.”

James caught a glance of Shepard as she walked from Liara’s room, rushing from the table to catch up to her, “Lola!”

Shepard sighed and stopped, turning to face him, “yes, Lieutenant?”

“Lieutenant?” James frowned, “when do you ever call me by my rank?”

“What did you need?” Shepard crossed her arms over her chest, an unreadable, but closed off, expression on her face.

“Lola,” James couldn’t keep the hurt from his voice, “come on.”

“James,” Shepard didn’t budge, “what do you want?”

James looked around, noticing the crew was watching their interaction with interest, “come here.”

Shepard let James lead her to the observation room, locking the door behind them.

“Lola, please don’t be mad at me.”

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t be.”

“I’m trying,” James pleaded, “but Lola I can’t lose you.”

“You keep saying that, James, like I would ever fucking leave you,” Shepard raised her voice, “you idiot. Like I would ever give up our friendship if we broke up. You think you’re the only one of the two of us that thinks it’s important?”

“No, but-“

“No, but you’re happy to keep me on a shelf until you’re ready to play the game, right?”

“No, Lola – “

“Save it,” Shepard held up her hand, “take the time you need to figure out what you want and then let me know. You need time to think, that’s fine, but I don’t have to walk around and pretend like it doesn’t hurt that you can’t make up your mind if you actually want me or not.” Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath.

“Lola,” James tried again, “of course I want you. That’s the problem. I want you in my life long term. I don’t want to do anything to risk losing you.”

“The only way you’re going to lose me, James, is if you string me along like this.”

When Shepard looked at him James could see her eyes were filled with tears, without hesitation James pulled her against him for a hug.

“Please don’t cry over me, Lola. I’m not worth it.”

Shepard almost relaxed into the hug, letting down her guard, before James felt her stiffen.

“Three days, James. Make up your mind,” Shepard pulled away, “I’ll talk to you later.”

James watched every step Shepard took and stared at the door as it shut behind her.


	4. Chapter 4

_We have a double birthday tonight, folks, Kaidan and Garrus. Drinks in the lounge at 1900 – JS_

“Oh,” Kaidan read the message on his omni-tool, “I didn’t know she remembered.”

“It’s Shepard, of course, she remembered,” Joker rolled his eyes, “she’s Shepard.”

“Yeah,” Kaidan sighed, “I asked her out, she shot me down.”

“Well, duh,” Joker pointed to James as he walked over to the table with lunch, “she’s in love with that idiot.”

“Who is?” James sat next to Kaidan.

“Shepard.”

“Oh,” James pushed his food around the plate with his fork, suddenly uninterested in the meal.

“Well, are you going to go for it?”

James looked up at Kaidan, “why?”

“You’d be crazy not too,” Joker added.

“So everyone keeps telling me.”

“Come on, James, she’s like the dream girl,” Kaidan shrugged, “name one thing wrong with her.”

“There isn’t anything. Why are you trying to encourage me to go for it, I thought you wanted to date her?”

“I do. I really do. We’ve been friends long enough that I also know that just want to see Jane happy,” Kaidan ran his hand through his hair, “even if it’s not me that makes her happy. Don’t get me wrong; if you don’t go for it, I’m still going to try and win her over.”

“She’s not some prize from a fair, Major.”

“I know she isn’t, but I’m in love with her, and I’m not going to give up easily.”

“You’re in love with her?” James looked at Kaidan, shocked, “I thought it was just a crush.”

“James, I think you know as well as I do that it’s almost impossible to have _just a crush_ on Jane Shepard.”

“Ugh,” James pushed his plate away, dropping his head on the table, “fuck.”

“Why don’t you want her?”

“I do want her,” James answered Joker, “I also don’t want to fuck up our friendship.”

“Man, Shepard wouldn’t let that happen,” Joker waved a dismissive hand, “she runs an entire war, you’re worried about navigating a relationship with her? She made Turians and Krogan play in the same sandbox. If she can make them get along, she can keep a relationship going with her eyes closed.”

“Are you all finished?” Shepard’s voice came from the island, where she stood with a cup of coffee.

“Shit, I didn’t see you there, Lola,” James jumped, flushing.

“I can tell, Lieutenant. As it is, your lunch breaks are over.”

“Right,” Kaidan cleared his plate, just as flushed as James felt, “see you tonight?”

“I’ll be there, Major.”

“Don’t look at me, Commander, I don’t start until this afternoon.”

“Stop being a shit disturber, Joker. Please.”

“I’m just trying to give them a friendly push in your direction.”

“Joker,” Shepard leveled a glare his way, “no.”

“Okay,” Joker held up his hands in defeat.

“How long were you standing there for?” James asked as he cleared his plate and dropped it into the dishwasher.

“Long enough.”

“Seriously.”

“Yes, seriously,” Shepard glanced at him, “please stop talking about our personal relationship with the entire crew. I need to maintain a level of professionalism, and it wouldn’t be beneficial for the crew to get excited that we’re going to date if we’re not.”

“Kaidan brought it up.”

“I know he did. You didn’t need to answer him. If you need to talk to someone, talk with Steve. Not the man who just asked me out and the gossip of the ship. This is embarrassing enough for me as it is.”

“Sorry, Lola.”

“See you later, James.”

“Hey, Lola,” James called just before Shepard walked from view.

“Yeah?”

“I miss you.”

Shepard gave him a sad smile, “I miss you, too.”

“Can we do a movie night?”

“Once you make up your mind, sure.”

James felt his heartache and reached up to rub at it, “okay.”

Shepard walked from view, and James turned back, looking at the mostly empty mess hall.

“Alright, Lieutenant?”

“Dr. Chakwas, hey, yeah.”

“Come here,” Dr. Chakwas waved from her spot at the door of the med bay.

James walked to the med bay, stepping inside.

“Are you actually alright?” Dr. Chakwas sat in her chair, pushing one out for James.

“Yeah,” James sat, looking around the room, “no.”

“What can I do to help?”

“Nothing, it’s just something I need to work through.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“She doesn’t want me talking about it.”

“No, she doesn’t want you talking about it with Joker. I’m a Doctor, Lieutenant. Anything you tell me is confidential.”

James looked at Chakwas, trying to find the words, “I’m the son of a criminal, I joined the Alliance to get out of my hometown. I got through basic because I’m strong, and then I got a huge amount of people killed, which landed me a job watching Shepard. I’ve wanted to be just like her since I was 18. Now, I have a chance to not only date my hero but date my best friend.”

“And you think you don’t deserve it?”

“I think I’ll fuck it up.”

“You won’t, James,” Dr. Chakwas gave him a warm smile, and for a moment, James was reminded of his mother.

“Everyone keeps saying that.”

“So why don’t you believe them?” Dr. Chakwas asked, “you’ve had Steve, Garrus, Kaidan, and Joker tell you to try, and let me tell you, Joker holds our Commander’s safety above all others. If the people who know her best, and the people who have known her the longest, think that you two would be perfect for each other, why do you assume they’re wrong?”

“I don’t know.”

“You should think about that, James. Maybe you can't see something they can.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Oh, James, you sweet man,” Dr. Chakwas pulled up her omni-tool and pressed a few buttons, “I’ve signed you off for the rest of the day. Take the time to think about it.”

A call signal came into the med bay, and Dr. Chakwas held her finger up to her lips before answering, “Commander, what can I do for you?”

“Is James alright?” Shepard sounded worried, “you just sent me a medical discharge for the day.”

“Commander, you know the records are confidential.”

“Karin, I love you, but I will have Liara hack the medical records if you don’t tell me if he’s okay.”

“He’s fine, Commander. Just seemed under the weather when I saw him. I encouraged him to take the afternoon off to relax.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Shepard let out a breath of relief, “okay.”

“You’re quite taken with our Lieutenant.”

“Don’t get me started, Karin, I just pulled myself together,” Shepard sighed, “I’m a mess.”

“He cares about you, Commander.”

“I know, and I care about him.”

“It’ll work out, Commander.”

“I hope so.” Someone could be heard calling Shepard’s name, “thanks, Karin.”

“Goodbye, Commander.”

Shepard call disconnected, and James looked at Dr. Chakwas, “that was sneaky.”

“I’ve been known to sneak,” Dr. Chakwas smiled, “on occasion.”

“Now, I need to find somewhere to go.”

“You’re welcome to stay here, I’m sure EDI would also be alright with you going into the AI Core.”

“Thanks, can I just kick it on one of the beds?”

“Of course.”

***

“Happy Birthday, Major, Scars,” James nodded to them as he walked into the observation lounge.

“You okay? I haven’t seen you all afternoon,” Steve greeted James as he walked over to the bar.

“I had a sick day with Dr. Chakwas.”

“Are you feeling better?”

“Kind of,” James glanced around the room, ensuring no one was listening, “I spent most of the day talking to her about Jane.”

“How did that work out for you?”

“I’m still working through it,” James tapped the side of his head, “but I feel a bit better.”

“Hopefully Jane does too, last time I saw her she was hiding in the Kodiak looking exhausted.”

“I’m going to talk to her tonight.”

“And say?”

James shrugged, “I have no idea. We just need to have a conversation.”

“Might want to come up with a game plan,” Steve looked to the door as Shepard walked in carrying two gift bags, EDI and Liara following behind carrying a cake box each.

“Happy Birthday, boys!”

James could tell immediately that Shepard was faking it. Her smile not reaching the corner of her eyes.

“Oh, thank you, Shepard, you didn’t need to get me anything,” Kaidan took the gift gratefully.

“Speak for yourself, Shepard does the best gifts,” Garrus also took the offered bag, “thank you, Jane.”

“You’re very welcome, open them up, it’ll be the highlight of my day.”

Kaidan pulled the tissue paper out of the bag, pulling out a large amber bottle, “Shepard, wow, you shouldn’t have.” Kaidan read the label of the whiskey, “and it’s Canadian.”

“Of course it’s Canadian,” Shepard rolled her eyes, her smile more genuine now, “it’s you.”

“Thank you,” Kaidan stood, pulling Shepard into a hug, which had James’ stomach turning.

“You’re welcome,” Shepard pulled back from the hug slightly, but let Kaidan keep his arm over her shoulders, “let’s go, Garrus.”

Garrus reached into his bag and pulled out a long box, “oh, I think I know what this is.”

“Do you?” Shepard grinned at him, “you better love me forever.”

“Shit,” Garrus carefully extracted the scope from the box, pressing a button on its side to fully extend it, “I thought the Alliance was only at the prototype phase?”

“They are,” Shepard leaned forward, pretending to whisper, “I have an inside source with R and D.”

“It’s incredible, thank you, Shepard.”

“Anything for my favourite Turian,” Shepard waved for EDI and Liara to walk over, “that’s not all I sourced, Steve, where are you, get over here.”

Steve stood from his seat and stood next to Shepard, letting her pull him in front of the group, “what’s up?”

“What’s up he says,” Shepard rolled her eyes, “this wonderful man got you two birthday cakes.”

“He didn’t,” Kaidan took the box offered by EDI, opening it with an excited expression, “holy shit.”

“Garrus, you have some sort of tart thing? I hear it’s traditional.”

Garrus took the box from Liara and looked inside, “damn, Shepard, I haven’t had one of these since I was a kid.”

“Good?”

“Amazing,” Kaidan agreed, pressing a kiss to Shepard’s temple, “thank you.”

“Well, come on birthday boys, lets cut some cake and have some drinks!”

***

Kaidan’s bottle of whiskey was sitting half-finished on the floor, surrounded by other empty bottles. As the night had progressed, James had moved to sit beside Shepard, Kaidan seated on the other side of her. They still hadn’t spoken, but Shepard seemed more at ease.

“Commander,” Joker started from where he was perched on the couch with EDI and Liara, “I have a question for you.”

“I should warn you,” Shepard pointed at Joker, “you’re drunk, and I’m not. So whatever you ask me, while you might forget, I won’t.”

“I think it’s wrong, anyway, but I wanted to ask,” Joker looked around the room, seemingly trying to decide if Garrus, Tali, Steve, James, and Kaidan were safe witnesses to the question, “are you divorced?”

“Yes,” Shepard arched an eyebrow, “why?”

“Wait, what?” Kaidan asked, “you were married?”

“I’m with the Major,” James added, “what?”

Shepard snorted, “why are you surprised?”

“Because you’ve never mentioned it?” Kaidan offered, “and I’ve known you for years?”

“Well, it’s out there now, ask away.”

“When did you get married?” Joker asked.

“When I was 18, just before I left for basic,” Shepard pressed a few buttons on her omni-tool and pulled up a picture, casting it to the screen on the wall.

In it, a young Shepard could be seen wearing a soft white dress while holding onto the arm of a young man in a suit.

“What’s his name?” EDI looked over the picture, “I don’t believe he’s ever been around the Normandy.”

“His name is Ian, and Steve, you’ll like this, his last name is Cortez.”

“No shit, you were Jane Cortez?”

“I was,” Shepard smiled at Steve, “until I was 25.”

“What happened?”

Shepard looked at James, considering his question, “we were young, we got married in a rush because we were worried that my training would keep us apart. In the end, he couldn’t handle the kind of missions I had to do, and I respected that. It’s not easy being married to an N7.”

“He’s sexy,” Tali slurred, “what did he do?”

“Well, he still has the same job, he’s R and D for the Alliance, he actually works with my dad a lot. It’s how we met.”

“Wait, was he the source for the scope?”

“Yep,” Shepard nodded, “he sure was.”

“You two still talk?”

“Why wouldn’t we?” Shepard gave James a shrug, “it wasn’t a hostile break up. It just didn’t work out. We touch base every week or so, and I introduced him to his second wife.”

“Do you think I could ask him if it would still work with a Turian lens in it? No offence to the Alliance, but our focal length is a bit different.”

“Let’s find out,” Shepard pressed a few more buttons, and the face of Ian Cortez appeared on the screen.

“Janey?” Ian had a deep voice, warm eyes, and long brown hair. His smile had Liara and Tali giggling together quietly on the couch. James immediately hated him.

“Hey, Ian.” Shepard stood and walked closer to the camera on the screen, “meet my crew, you have Joker, EDI, Liara, Garrus, Tali, Kaidan, Steve, and James. Crew, meet my ex-husband Ian.”

“Uh, hi?” Ian gave a small wave, “what’s up, Jane?”

“Garrus was wondering if you could see any issues with him replacing that glass with Turian stock, it’s not clear for him to look through.”

Ian paused, tapping his chin while he thought about it, “it depends on the fit, I guess, it might affect some of the wiring. I tell you what, I’ll send another wiring harness just in case it doesn’t work, and you need to replace it.”

“I’d appreciate that, Ian.”

“Let me know if it works though,” Ian added, “I’m trying to have a bulk order made to send out to Palaven, if we need to change the lenses, I’d like to know before they go.”

“I will,” Garrus agreed.

“How’s Celina?” Shepard walked behind the bar to grab a drink.

“She’s good, did you want to say hi?”

“If she’s around.”

A bright red-haired girl appeared on the screen, who, contrary to Ian, had half of her head shaved, multiple lip rings, and tattoos.

“Hey slut,” Celina called to Shepard, “how’s it going?”

Kaidan choked on his drink at looked at James, startled. James shook his head and shrugged.

“Not bad, skank, how are you?”

“Good, still living the dream with this ball and chain,” Celina wrapped herself around Ian, “Hey, that’s your crew?”

“Some of it,” Shepard nodded, “most of the originals.”

“Sweet, who’s that sexy guy with the dark hair?”

“Which one? I have a few.”

“The one with the mohawk.”

“That’s James.”

“The guys next to him are pretty hot too.”

“Kaidan and Steve.”

“Shit, do you just hire sexy people?” Celina pointed to Joker, “what does he do?”

“That’s Joker, he flies the ship.”

“The silver chick next to him?”

“That’s EDI. She is the ship.”

“Kinky.”

Shepard laughed, “you know, this is an interesting introduction for my crew.”

“Sorry, I forget sometimes they don’t all get the inside jokes,” Celina played with Ian’s hair, “did you tell her the news?”

“Not yet.”

“What news?”

“We’re going to be parents!” Celina shrieked, causing Ian and Garrus to both cover their ears.

“That’s amazing,” Shepard smiled, “congratulations.”

“We were wondering,” Celina looked to Ian, who nodded, “would you be the godmother?”

“Of course, it would be my honour.”

“Great! We’ll let you know when he’s born.”

“I can’t wait. Let me know if you two need anything for the baby.”

“I can send you the registry?” Celina offered.

“Please do. I should let you both go, we’re having a party for Kaidan and Garrus, and they just found out I used to be married to Ian. I think they have some questions for me.”

“They’re probably more wondering why I call you slut,” Celina shrugged, “bye! It was nice chatting.”

“Talk soon, bye, Ian.”

“Bye, Janey.”

The screen cut to black and James cleared his throat, “she’s…excitable.”

“No kidding,” Shepard retook her seat, “and now you’ve met my ex-husband. Any questions?”

“Why does she call you slut?”

Shepard looked at Joker with a smile, “sorry, Joker. Top secret.”

***

“I’m going to go to bed,” Shepard announced, “I’ll let you guys sleep in tomorrow, you can all switch to afternoon shifts.”

“You’re the best, Commander!” Joker called from the couch he was laying on, hat covering his face.

“Good night,” Shepard laughed, “behave.”

“I’ll walk you up, Lola,” James offered.

“Sure,” Shepard carefully stepped over Kaidan where he was asleep on the floor, “the Major is going to feel it in the morning.”

“I think he needed to get over the shock of meeting your ex-husband. So he drank his weight in booze,” James called the elevator, “we lived together for six months, and you never mentioned Ian before. Why?”

“Why would I?” Shepard shrugged, “it was seven years ago. You’ve never mentioned your exes to me.”

“I don’t have any,” James walked into the elevator, holding the door for Shepard, “I’ve never had anything more serious than friends with benefits.”

“Ah,” Shepard crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the wall, “well I promise I wasn’t trying to keep it secret from you, it’s just honestly not a big deal in my life anymore.”

“Really?”

“Really. I loved Ian a lot, we got married young, we broke up. It wasn’t some big scandal, so I really don’t think about it.” Shepard stepped out of the elevator as it arrived on her floor, “well, goodnight.”

“Can I come in?”

Shepard turned to look at him, “why?”

“To talk?”

Shepard considered for a minute before nodded, “okay, come on.”

James followed Shepard into her quarters, watching as she started pulling bobby pins from her hair, the braid eventually breaking free from its bun and falling down her back. James fought the urge to offer to brush it again.

“Well, we’re here,” Shepard sat on the edge of her bed, “talk.”

“I’m sorry, Lola,” James sat next to her, “I know today has sucked.”

“It’s after midnight,” Shepard checked her omni-tool, “so technically the past two days have sucked.”

“Still,” James wrapped his arm over Shepard’s shoulders, delighting when she didn’t move away, “I’m sorry.”

“Okay,” Shepard turned to look at him, “have you done some thinking?”

“Lots of thinking. My brain actually hurts.”

“And?”

“I just have one question.”

“Which is?”

“We’re going to be on the Citadel for shore leave in a few days, right?”

“Yes. That’s the question?”

“No, the question is, would you let me take you out on a date while we’re there?”

The smile that spread across Shepard’s face was blinding, and James felt his heart for the first time in weeks give a pleasant thump in his chest.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” James reached out a tentative hand to take Shepard’s, “if you still want me.”

James wasn’t prepared for Shepard to launch herself at him, almost losing his balance as suddenly he had a lap full of Jane Shepard, who reached up and cupped his face in her hands.

“You idiot,” Shepard whispered, “of _course,_ I want you.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Yeah?” James couldn’t help but notice how easy it would be to lean forward and kiss Shepard, “really?”

“Really,” Shepard clearly had the same idea, closing the distance between them and pressing a gentle kiss to James’ lips.

It was chaste, only quick, and James couldn’t help but flush at how immediately aroused he was.

“Do that again,” James slid his hands from Shepard’s thighs to her back, pulling her closer.

Shepard did, tilting her head slightly and brushing her tongue against James’ lower lip. Shepard was _good_ at this, James’ brain supplied, _very good_.

Then it also provided, _you haven’t even taken her on a date yet, might want to slow this gravy train down a little._

James pulled back with a gasp, “Lola, you’re making it very hard to be a gentleman.”

Shepard smiled, lips swollen, “am I?”

“You minx,” James resisted the urge to kiss Shepard again.

Shepard stood, kicking off her boots, “are you going to get comfortable and stay awhile, or go back down?”

“I’d like to stay,” James watched as Shepard pulled her sweater over her head, revealing the too-thin, too-tight tank top underneath.

“Boots off then, buddy, you can pick the movie,” Shepard grabbed a pair of shorts from her dresser and walked toward the bathroom, “I’ll be out in a minute.”

James glanced down at the cargo pants he was wearing. They were old, covered in gun oil, and the buckles and snaps were bent and sharp. He considered taking them off but didn’t want to give Shepard the wrong idea.

“James?” Shepard called his name from where she stood at the top of the stairs, “okay?”

“Fine, Lola,” James flushed, “just trying to be a gentleman, but I’m wearing my work pants.”

“Take them off,” Shepard shrugged, “I’ve been married before, James. You don’t have anything I haven’t seen. Hell, we’ve used the same decontamination shower before, I don’t think you have any secrets from me.”

“I didn’t want you to think I had any expectations…”

“James, you couldn’t pressure me into sex if you wanted too. Number one, I’m very willing to have sex with you right now. Number two, as you so kindly pointed out, I shot down a Reaper. I’d kick your ass if you tried to do something I didn’t want. Take your pants off and get into bed.”

“Into bed?” James joked to try and settle the nerves in his stomach, “you want me to stay the night?”

“Sure, if you want too,” Shepard didn’t seem the least bit nervous despite only wearing small shorts and a tank top, pulling back the covers and sliding into bed.

James kicked off his boots, keeping his back to Shepard as he pulled off his shirt and pants, leaving them on the floor, “I don’t want to rush into anything. I’d like to take you out on a date before we…you know.”

“You know, James, beds also have this other function.”

“Yeah?” James took a deep breath and turned to face Shepard, more than slightly embarrassed to be standing in only his boxers in front of her.

“Yeah,” Shepard gave him a reassuring smile, “you know, to _sleep?_ You can go back to the crew quarters if you want, but they’re all going to be puking in the morning. It might be nicer to be up here.”

“Oh gross,” James wrinkled his nose, walking over to the bed, “Yeah, you’re right, I’m going to crash here.”

“There you go,” Shepard pulled up her omni-tool, “what are we watching?”

“That movie from the other night had a part two.”

“It was a terrible movie,” Shepard arched her brow at him, “awful.”

“It was,” James agreed, getting into bed next to Shepard, “really bad.”

“Fine,” Shepard found the movie and pressed play, “but I’m hiding behind you.”

“Go for it.”

***

 _This was a terrible idea,_ James resisted the urge to groan as Shepard’s impossibly smooth leg hooked over his while she hid her face against his chest, _really dumb._

James took a deep breath, thinking about gun schematics trying to cool the pool of lust which had settled in his core five minutes into the movie and hadn’t relented.

Shepard must have noticed the tension, because she looked up at him with a puzzled expression, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“James…”

“I have a beautiful, mostly naked woman wrapped around me, who I’m taking out on a date in a few days, and I’m trying to be a good guy.”

“You’re horny?”

James blushed, “don’t have to be so crude about it.”

“It’s not crude,” Shepard rolled her eyes, “we’ve been dancing around each other for months, you think you don’t affect me the same way?”

“It’s a bit more _obvious_ for me, Lola.”

“James, if we end updating, I’m going to end up seeing you naked, and as I’ve said earlier, I’ve _already_ seen you naked.”

“I wasn’t hard when I was in the decontamination shower, Lola.”

“Well, no, because that shit we got sprayed with was fucking gross.”

“Yep,” James agreed.

“We don’t have to wait if you don’t want too,” Shepard offered.

“I want to do this right,” James kissed Shepard’s forehead, “I don’t want our kids to find out one day that we were screwing before we were dating.”

“Kids?”

“Uh, yeah, you don’t want kids?”

“I do,” Shepard started slowly, “I don’t know if I can have them, though.”

“Why not?”

Shepard pushed the blanket away from her, pulling her tank top up slightly and pushing her shorts down an inch, showing James a four-inch scar across her lower stomach, “they aren’t too sure if that works or not anymore. It’s the one thing they couldn’t confirm for me.”

“What happened?” James carefully brushed his hand over the scar, it was flat, surgical looking, with almost no redness too it. If Shepard hadn’t shown him, he likely would have missed it.

“I died,” Shepard chuckled, “and there is a lot of science that goes into bringing someone back from the dead. The fact that I’m alive at all is impressive; they just don’t know if I’m fertile or not. I mean, I have an implant anyway, right, so they can’t exactly check to see if it’s functional.”

“Biological kids, adopted kids,” James shrugged, “still not fucking their mom before I take her on a date.”

“You couldn’t decide if you even wanted to date me, and now you’re worried about what our non-existent kids think?”

“You told me to take time to think,” James rolled on his side to face Shepard, “and I’ve done nothing but think about you for the past two days. Way I see it, either you’re going to go off, get married and have kids with someone else and I’m going to be less of a part of your life, which sucks; or, I can woo you, romance you, convince you to fall in love with me, and then I get to keep you all to myself.”

“So you vote for plan two?”

“I vote for plan two,” James nodded, “I don’t know if I’ll be good at it, but I’m going to try.”

“I think you’re doing pretty well,” Shepard kissed his cheek, “but even if you wanted to be just friends, I wouldn’t let any future husband cut you out. You’re my best friend.”

“You say that now,” James ran his fingers over Shepard’s shoulder down to take her hand, “but if you had a sexy man in your life telling you not to cuddle with me during move night…”

“I’d divorce him,” Shepard shrugged, squeezing James’ fingers.

James didn’t resist the urge to kiss her this time, a soft kiss to her nose, her cheek, before kissing her lips with a contented sigh.

Shepard held James close, flicking her tongue against his lips until he opened for her, brushing their tongues together with a moan.

“Lola,” James pulled back with a gasp, “you’re driving me crazy.”

“Not crazy enough. You still have boxers on.”

“Jane, please, I’m trying to do this right.”

“I know,” Shepard kissed James’ cheek, “it’s okay.”

“I want you so bad,” James dropped back onto his back with a huff, “when do we get to the Citadel?”

“A couple days, it really depends on the Reapers. Do you have our date planned?”

“Most of it,” James had actually worked on the date with Dr. Chakwas for some of the afternoon, making reservations as needed.

“I’ll have to get something pretty to wear,” Shepard curled around James again, “this movie is worse than the first one.”

“It’s pretty bad,” James agreed, “but the intermission was pretty good.”

“That’s nothing, wait until you get me naked.”

“Lola,” James groaned, “stop.”

“I even have a tattoo you haven’t seen.”

“Where?”

“You’ll have to find it,” Shepard smiled, James could feel it against his chest where she was using him as a pillow.

“Looking forward to it. Hey, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“Would you really have gone out with Kaidan?”

“What, did you think I just said that to get you to finally make up your mind?”

“Yeah…”

“Hate to break it to you, but yes, I would have gone on a date with Kaidan.”

“I thought you didn’t like him like that.”

“I don’t,” Shepard agreed, “but I used too, and it might have come back if I had tried a date with him. I was serious when I said I don’t want to be alone anymore. It’s been a long time.”

“Did you tell him that?”

“Of course not, it wouldn’t have been fair to him to get his hopes up if you decided that you wanted to give this a shot.”

“How is he going to take it?”

“He was trying to set you up with me today, so I think he’ll be okay.”

“That was strange.”

“Yes, it was,” Shepard agreed, “very strange.”

“Joker too.”

“That’s not strange, he’s been trying to get me laid for years.”

“Why?”

“No idea. He told me he likes you better, though.”

“That’s because I’m awesome.”

“Yes,” Shepard looked up with a smile, “you are.”

***

“That sucked,” James commented as the movie ended when Shepard didn’t answer he looked down to find her asleep against his chest.

“EDI,” James whispered, “can you turn off the lights and the screen, closing his eyes as the room fell into darkness.

Relaxing in this unpredicted, but wanted situation, James let himself drift off to sleep.

***

James woke in stages, his back aching from staying in the same position all night, rubbing the sleep from his eyes he looked down to see Shepard slowly stirring.

“Morning, Lola.”

Shepard rolled off of James, stretching, “morning.”

“Sleep well?”

“I think that’s the best sleep I’ve had since I was dead. I have nightmare most nights.”

“Yeah?”

“I have a lot of fuel for them,” Shepard pointed to a large panel over the bed, “I was spaced, and Cerberus put in a skylight.”

“That’s dumb.”

“Yep,” Shepard closed her eyes, “EDI, can you start the morning protocol, please?”

“Yes, Commander. Good morning.”

“Good Morning, EDI. How are the crew?”

“Joker and Kaidan are currently receiving fluids from Dr. Chakwas. Tali is running a detox program, Garrus is in the main battery under a blanket, Liara is still asleep. Steve appears to have survived the evening intact.”

“Smart man,” Shepard stood walking over to the coffee machine, “any important messages for me?”

“Admiral Hackett has requested you check in when you’re available.”

“Anything else?”

“No, Commander.”

“Thank you, EDI.” Shepard poured a cup of coffee and brought it over to James before walking back to her terminal and dialing out to Admiral Hackett.

“Good Morning, Jane.”

“Good Morning, Steven, how are you?”

“Busy, as always,” Admiral Hackett’s voice played over the speaker as Shepard walked around the room.

“How’s the crucible going?”

“Slowly, but with the resources you keep sending, we’re making good progress.”

“Good,” Shepard sat on the edge of the bed next to James, “did you need me for something?”

“I heard that the Normandy is headed to the Citadel for some repairs.”

“It is.”

“I want you to promise me you’ll take at least two days off without checking your Alliance email.”

“I promise.”

There was a pause before Hackett spoke again, “that was easier than I thought.”

“Well, there may have been some developments in my social life, so I think I’ll have my hands full,” Shepard winked at James, who blushed.

“Good news, Jane. It’s about time. Who’s the lucky fellow?”

“Do you remember Lieutenant Vega?”

“James Vega, the N7 recruit?”

“That’s him.”

“Well suited. Good luck to both of you, I hope it works out. “

“Thanks. How’s Kristen?”

“She’s doing well, still on the Citadel. Make sure you stop by when you’re there.”

“Of course,” Shepard finished her coffee, “it’s been nice chatting, Steven, but I have to go do the rounds.”

“Alright, don’t work too hard, Shepard.”

“You too, Admiral.”

The call disconnected, and Shepard grinned at James, “Steven and I are friends before you ask.”

“Figured as much,” James sat up, letting the sheet drop to his hips, “you guys chat often?”

“A couple times a week, he was one of my mentors when I was in training.”

“He doesn’t seem to mind you breaking regulations with me.”

“He better not, he’s married to an Alliance doctor, and they got together when he was a Commander.”

“What are your plans for the day?”

“Shower, breakfast, work.”

“Time for me in there?”

“Of course,” Shepard finished her coffee, seemingly considering something before asking, “if it doesn’t go against your plans, you could join me in the shower?”

“Lola…”

“Just to shower,” Shepard held up her hands in innocence, “you don’t have too.”

“You’re driving me _crazy_.”

“I’m doing nothing of the sort,” Shepard walked over to her dresser, pulling out her clothes for the day, “I tell you what, you can think about it while I get the water running. If you want to join, you’re welcome too. If you don’t, I’ll be back out in a few minutes.”

James watched as Shepard walked into the bathroom and heard the water start.

 _Okay, think,_ James considered, _sexy lady who wants you in the shower. You’re trying to behave. Can you behave in the shower with the sexy lady?_

_Not a chance._

_Do you want to do it anyway?_

_Yes._

_Then move._

James stood, walking to the bathroom door and waiting for Shepard to call for him to come in. James would swear he almost fainted when he walked in and got a view of Shepard standing with her back to him under the water, the sudden rush of his blood moving south, making him lightheaded.

“Alright, James?” Shepard looked over her shoulder at him, “or did you just come to watch?”

“You’re beautiful, Jane,” James’ voice sounded earnest, even to him, “ _Dios mio_ , what did I do to deserve this?”

“Shut up,” Shepard smiled at him, rolling her eyes, “are you coming in?”

“Hell yeah,” James kicked off his boxers, the desire to be close to Shepard overriding feeling self-conscious. Stepping into the water James let out a gasp at the heat, “shit, you trying to cook yourself?”

“You can turn it down if you like,” Shepard turned to face him, seemingly totally at ease being naked in front of him, James fought to keep his eyes on her face, “the cybernetics make me stiff. I have a hot shower in the morning to help loosen them up.”

“I’ll get used to it,” James reached for some soap, washing his chest, “you know the crew are going to talk.”

“Yep,” Shepard shrugged, grabbing her shampoo, “let them.”

“You’re not worried about your reputation, dating a guy like me?”

“You’re amazing, so no,” Shepard tilted her head back, rinsing the soap from her hair and James took a moment to appreciate Shepard’s curves, the subtle swell of her breasts, the defined muscles of her stomach, her strong legs. He almost swore as his cock gave a twitch of interest.

“What about Kaidan?”

“What about him?”

“He’s going to be upset.”

“He made his choice, once. Now I’ve made mine,” Shepard smiled at him reassuringly, “I can handle myself, Vega.”

“I know you can, Lola, I just wanted to make sure.”

“I’d like to handle you, too,” Shepard gave James an exaggerated once over, winking at him.

“Yeah?” James took a step closer to her, “what would you like to do, Lola?”

“Well,” Shepard also moved closer, James’ erection inches from brushing against her stomach, “that depends on what you’re comfortable with.”

“I don’t know,” James took in a deep breath, “I meant what I said about doing this right.”

“Well, James,” Shepard took the body wash from James, filling her hand and putting the bottle back on the shelf, “let me tell you, there is no _right_ way to start a relationship, they’re all different.”

“I know,” James watched Shepard rub the soap between her hands before walking around to his back, tensing as he felt her hands run over his shoulders.

“We’re two consenting adults, so if we want to screw like bunnies before we make anything official, we can. If you want to wait, that’s fine too,” Shepard worked in slow circles, washing the expanse of James’ back in gentle strokes, gradually dropping to her knees, her hands running over the swell of his ass before moving down to his thighs.

“What are you doing, Lola?” James wasn’t complaining, it felt amazing.

“Washing you,” Shepard stood, encouraging him to turn around and take a step back to let the water wash the soap from his back, filling her hands with soap again.

James felt his core tense at the thought of Shepard washing the front of him, his cock hard and aching.

“Why?”

“Why not?” Shepard brought her hands to his shoulders, taking a moment to massage some of the tension from them before moving down his arms, “doesn’t it feel nice?”

“It does,” James squeezed Shepard’s hands as they reached his, “this isn’t what I thought you’d have in mind.”

“It’s not,” Shepard agreed, “but it’s important to you to that we do this a certain way, I respect that.”

James smiled, “you’re a special one, Lola.”

“I hope I’m the only one,” Shepard moved her attention to James’ chest, “you’ve got a beautiful body.”

“You do, too,” James brought one hand to rest on Shepard’s shoulder, relaxing under the attention, fighting the urge to swear as Shepard once again dropped to her knees to wash the front of his legs, avoiding his cock despite it being face level, “I want you so bad.”

“Yeah?” Shepard looked up at him and arched a brow, “I can kind of tell.”

James laughed, “sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Shepard stood, encouraging him to turn around and rinse off the soap, “it’s always nice to feel attractive.”

“There’s no doubt that you’re attractive, Lola. You drive me crazy. I used to jerk off in the shower when I was your guard, hoping you would come and join me.”

“You should have just stayed in my room then, I was doing the same thing.”

“No shit?”

“James, honestly, have you looked in a mirror? You’re gorgeous. Not to mention funny, nice, charismatic. It’s very hard _not_ to fall for you.”


	6. Chapter 6

James dressed next to Shepard, moving his still present, still aching, erection to the side as he did up his belt.

“Poor baby,” Shepard chuckled as she pulled her shirt over her head, “must be uncomfortable.”

James shrugged, “I’m a big boy, Lola, I can handle myself.”

“I noticed that you were a _big boy_ , and I would very much like to watch you handle yourself.”

“Fuck, Lola, your mouth,” James smiled, shaking his head.

“You’re welcome to fuck my mouth, Lieutenant,” Shepard started to braid her hair, laughing as James let out a startled cough.

“ _Lola_.”

“ _James_ ,” Shepard mocked, “what?”

“I didn’t know you had this side to you…”

“Oh, I’m full of surprises,” Shepard pinned the braid in a perfect bun, “ready for breakfast, or should I leave you to handle yourself?”

“I’m good, cargo’s hide all kinds of things.”

“Not when you’re a big as you,” Shepard nodded to the noticeable bulge.

“I’ll be fine if you stop dirty talking every five seconds,” James followed Shepard into the elevator, who held up her hands in innocence.

“I’ll be good,” Shepard pressed the button and leaned against the wall, “what are you plans for the day?”

“Fixing your gun, adjusting some scopes for Tali.”

“I’ll be down there later, Steve needed help with the Kodiak.”

“Huh, I wonder why he didn’t ask me.”

“Because I’m trained in vehicle repair, and you’re trained in arms and ammunition,” Shepard shrugged, walking from the elevator as it arrived on deck 3, “be ready for the gossip, they’ll know you weren’t in your bunk, and we both have wet hair.”

“Hey Shepard, how was the sex?” Joker practically shrieked across the mess hall, much to the embarrassment of James.

“Aren’t you hungover?” Shepard asked as she walked over to get some breakfast, “and it was _life-changing_. I’ll never be the same.”

“Yeah? Glad to hear he treated you right,” Joker pat Shepard on the shoulder, “Dr. Chakwas fixed Kaidan and I up, we’re okay now.”

Shepard scanned the room and found Kaidan glaring at his toast, “Hey, Major, did any of that bottle survive?”

“No,” Kaidan closed his eyes, “don’t remind me.”

“Need the day off? I don’t mind giving you a day to recover.”

“I’ll be fine, Shep, thanks.”

“Suit yourself,” Shepard shrugged, grabbing some toast and finding an empty seat, James joining her.

“Why do you encourage that?” James whispered, nodding at Joker, who was busy talking to EDI.

“You either give him something to work with, or you let him decide what he’s going to spread. If I hadn’t commented on the sex, he would have eventually started a rumour that you were no good in bed just to keep himself occupied. Trust me, you want me to say it was good.”

“Oh,” James took a bite of his toast, looking around the room and noticing all the crew watching them, “it doesn’t bug you?”

“James, my name has been in the mouth of the galaxy for years. You can’t let gossip bother you when you’re as high profile as I am. I hate to say it, darling, but you’re going to have to get used to it if you’re going to date me publicly.”

“Well, I’m not going to date you secretly. I want people to know we’re together.”

“Then you’re going to have to deal with the initial interest,” Shepard shrugged, “it’ll wear off.”

“If you say so.”

“I honestly have no idea,” Shepard smiled, “I haven’t dated since I was known, but I think they probably will have more interest in Kaidan being the second human spectre than me dating my Lieutenant. Anyway, I have to go get to work, I’ll see you later.”

James watched Shepard place her plate in the dishwasher, moving to walk past him to head toward the elevator, reaching out and catching her arm, “hey.”

Shepard stopped, looking at him with a puzzled expression, “yeah?”

James pulled her down, kissing her, “have a good day.”

Shepard’s smile could have lit the entire room, and Liara and Tali could be heard giggling from the kitchen.

“You too,” Shepard kissed his cheek before she walked away.

***

“So, you and the Lieutenant,” Joker started when Shepard approached to inspect the cockpit.

“Me and the Lieutenant,” Shepard confirmed, sitting on the floor next to Joker.

“Kaidan isn’t going to be happy he lost.”

“I wasn’t his to win,” Shepard looked up to Joker, “he said his piece on Horizon.”

“He was a real asshole,” Joker agreed, “I hope James treats you better.”

“I don’t think we know what we’re doing,” Shepard sighed, “I haven’t dated since I was married, sounds like James hasn’t dated at all.”

“Sounds like the sex went okay.”

“Jeff,” EDI interrupted, “Shepard may not want to discuss her sex life.”

“I don’t have a sex life,” Shepard glanced at Joker, “please don’t spread stuff about us around; it makes him uncomfortable.”

“Okay,” Joker agreed, in a rare act of sympathy, “but he’s going to need to get used to the press.”

“I know, I warned him.”

“I thought you said the sex was “life-changing” this morning.”

“He doesn’t want to have sex until we’ve been on a date. He wants to “do it right,” whatever that means.”

“It means you mean more to him than just a casual fuck,” Joker made a few adjustments to the Normandy’s course, “and he’s taking you seriously.”

“I can’t help but feel like I pushed him into it, telling him I was going to go on a date with Kaidan.”

“Were you going to go on a date with Kaidan?” EDI asked, interested in their conversation.

“If James decided we were just going to be friends, then yes.”

“I don’t understand,” EDI frowned, “how did you push James into anything if you told him the truth?”

“She didn’t. She was honest,” Joker tapped Shepard on the head, “you couldn’t push him into anything, he’s too stubborn of a dude for that. If he wanted to stay just friends, he would have let you date Kaidan.”

“Think so?”

“Yep,” Joker nodded, “I’m positive.”

“When are we set to arrive at the Citadel?”

“About 18 hours, the Reapers are behaving for the time being,” Joker checked the course, “t-minus 24 hours until Shepard gets laid.”

“Why are you so interested in my sex life, Joker?” Shepard pulled herself to standing.

“Why not?”

“Don’t you have your own sex life to worry about,” Shepard pointed to EDI.

“My sex life is great, Commander, don’t you worry about me.”

“I’m more worried about EDI,” Shepard walked off, chuckling as Joker shouted, “Hey!” as she left.

***

“Hey Lola,” James called to Shepard as she walked from the elevator, “I was wondering when you were going to join us, it’s almost dinner time.”

“Sorry,” Shepard smiled at James as she walked over to his bench, “Hackett, Anderson, the Council, I think I’ve been talking all afternoon.”

“Missed you.”

“You missed me?” Shepard leaned against his bench, almost touching him as he finished up on her shotgun, “it’s only been a few hours.”

“What can I say, after our evening last night, and our morning shower, I’ve been missing having you close to me.”

“You’re adorable,” Shepard kissed James’ shoulder, the only place she could reach while he was working, “where’s Steve?”

“Hiding,” James frowned, “rough day for him.”

“Oh?” Shepard glanced over to Steve’s station, finding it empty, “why?”

“Robert’s birthday.”

“Oh, shit. Guess he needs some cheering up.”

“Good luck, I’ve been trying all day. He’s over there, just behind the Kodiak.”

“Leave it to me,” Shepard walked over to the Kodiak, finally spotting Steve sitting on the back of the shuttle with a sad expression, “Hey Steve.”

Steve jumped to attention, saluting, “sorry, Commander, I didn’t notice you arriving.”

“You don’t need to salute me every time you see me, Steve. Honestly.”

“Force of habit,” Steve gestured over his shoulder with his thumb, “ready to change the window?”

“I guess so, slave driver.”

Steve didn’t smile, just glancing at Shepard before moving toward the box containing the new windshield.

“Steve,” Shepard walked over with him, “do you want to leave it? We can do it tomorrow, I can add it on the list for the Citadel repairs. If you want to take the day, you can.”

“I won’t help to sit around and mope,” Steve kept his back to Shepard, opening the box.

“It won't help to not deal with your emotions, either.”

“So, what am I supposed to do?” Steve turned on Shepard, snarling, “just sit around a cry?”

“If that’s what you need to do,” Shepard wasn’t the least bit affected by Steve’s change in mood, “yes.”

“It’s useless, it won't bring Robert back.”

“No, it won't,” Shepard agreed, “but it’ll bring the Steve that I know back.”

Steve faltered, and for a minute, James wondered if he might fall over until he was steadied by Shepard’s hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Steve ran a hand over his face, “I miss him so much on days like today. I would give anything literally to hug him.”

“Well, I’m not Robert, and I’m sure he was a very sexy specimen of man, but I hear I give decent hugs?” Shepard held her arms open, “if you want?”

Steve seemed to consider for a minute before accepting the hug, standing rigid for a few seconds before resting his chin on Shepard’s shoulder and relaxing into the embrace.

“It’s okay to be sad, Steve, or depressed, but you don’t need to set up camp and live there,” Shepard ran her hands over Steve’s back, “you’re allowed to feel the emotion, and then move on from it. Robert wouldn’t want you this upset on his birthday.”

“I know. It's hard.”

“Of course it is, but you’re strong, and you’ll get through it.”

After a moment, Steve pulled back, the first real smile James had seen all day crossing his face, “what would I do without you, Jane?”

“Fix the window yourself,” Shepard pressed a kiss to his cheek, “you’re doing well, Steve, it’s just a part of healing. You’re going to have good days and bad days.”

“I know, you’re right.”

“That’s why I’m the Commander,” Shepard winked at him, “ready to get to work?”

“Let’s do it, I’ve asked Kaidan to help, I hope you don’t mind.”

James minded.

“Not at all,” Shepard walked to the front of the Kodiak, looking at the damaged window, “we’re going to need James too.”

“What’s the standard process?”

Shepard explained, “old seal off, old window out, old glue off, then new glue, new seal, new window. It’s fiddly, but it doesn’t take long.”

“How do we get the old window out?”

“Like this,” Shepard took two steps back then sprinted toward the Kodiak, using the momentum to jump onto the front hood.

“Watch the paintwork!” Steve groaned, pulling a laugh from James.

“Esteban, the Kodiak gets _shot_. Lola won't damage it.”

“Steve, can you get me a knife and some pliers?” Shepard pressed around the old seal, “I need to get this out.”

“A knife?”

“Yes, Steve, a knife,” Shepard kneeled on the hood of the shuttle, finding the edge of the seal, “I won’t break anything I can’t fix, I promise.”

Steve passed a small pocketknife and a pair of needle-nose pliers to Shepard, watching as she cut, then pulled the old seal from around the window, dropping off the edge of the shuttle.

“When’s Kaidan coming?”

“I said I would message him when we needed him, I didn’t think that James would want him around.”

“I don’t,” James confirmed.

“Why?” Shepard used the pliers to start removing the glue.

“You were going to date him?”

“And?” Shepard looked over at James with a confused expression, “he doesn’t know that, and I didn’t date him in the end.”

“Still…”

“You’re jealous?”

James shrugged.

“Oh, James, you adorable man,” Shepard went back to removing the glue, “you were always my first choice, don’t forget that.”

James didn’t comment; just walked closer to the shuttle to watch Shepard work as she pulled long strips of glue from around the window.

“You can call Kaidan down, Steve, we’re going to need four people to get this thing moving.”

“Sure,” Steve sent off a message, “he won't be long.”

Shepard jumped off of the Kodiak, dropping the pliers and knife on a nearby bench before grabbing two suction handles, “have you ever considered dating again, Steve?”

“Not seriously,” Steve shook his head, “why?”

“Maybe you should,” Shepard placed the handles on the hood of the shuttle before turning back to him, “you’re young, you have a lot to offer someone.”

“Robert was the love of my life.”

“I don’t doubt that for a minute, but take it from someone who’s been married, divorced, and had _two_ lives,” Shepard smiled at James as he listened, “sometimes it’s worth taking the chance.”

“No doubt, Lola.”

“Who would even date me?” Steve shrugged.

“What about the Major?” Shepard nodded to Kaidan as he walked from the elevator.

“What about me?” Kaidan asked as he approached the group.

“You and Steve,” Shepard pointed between them.

“Doing?”

“Dating.”

“Nice idea, Shepard, but Kaidan’s straight.”

Kaidan flushed, “I’m not, actually. I’m pretty…open-minded.”

“See? Perfect,” Shepard opened the side door of the Kodiak, “Kaidan wants someone loyal and constant in his life. Steve, you want companionship from someone who understands that you’re still healing. Technically, Kaidan’s last _almost_ girlfriend died, so he understands what you’re going through.”

“Yeah?” Steve glanced at Kaidan, “who?”

“Me,” Shepard answered for him, “we almost dated on the SR1, it didn’t work out, you know…with my death and everything.”

“Yeah, it took me a couple years to get over it,” Kaidan agreed, “it’s hard.”

“It is,” Steve looked at Kaidan like it was the first time he had ever really seen him, “well, if you were ever interested, I wouldn’t say no.”

“Interested in?”

“A date,” Steve shrugged, “if you wanted.”

“Oh,” Kaidan paused, seemingly considering for a minute, “you know, that might be nice.”

“Okay then,” Steve blushed, busying himself, opening the box with the new window.

James looked between the group in confusion, “Lola, did you just set up the Major and Esteban in like, three sentences?”

“I did,” Shepard confirmed, “why not? If I’m lucky enough to have _you_ , they should be lucky enough to have each other. Just because Kaidan and I didn’t work out doesn’t mean he isn’t a great guy,” Shepard jumped back onto the shuttle, attaching the suction handles to the window, “and if Steve were straight, I’d be riding him like a pogo stick.”

Steve laughed, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Oh, like you don’t know that you’re fine as hell,” Shepard rolled her eyes, “walked down here with the three of you in the middle of a fucking push up contest and I almost fainted. I’ll let you know it was _very_ difficult to concentrate long enough to set up a live feed for the girls and I in the observation lounge.”

“You did _what?”_

Shepard looked at Kaidan, “set up a live feed.”

“Why?”

“Morale,” Shepard pointed at the window, “are you boys going to help Steve and I, or just stand there?”

“Right, sorry,” Kaidan glanced at James, “what are we doing?”

“I need the muscle inside the shuttle, you’re going to _gently_ push the window from the inside. Steve, you’re up here with me pulling the window up, and I need to unplug the display connections. It’s going to be heavy, with it being bulletproof and all, so we’ll need to work together.”

“Let’s do it,” James got into the Kodiak, Kaidan following behind him as Shepard helped Steve onto the front of the shuttle, “if you hurt Esteban, I’ll skin you alive.”

“Same goes for you with Jane.”

“Deal,” James placed his hands on the glass, waiting for the queue from Shepard to start pushing.

“Ready?” Shepard called to them.

“When you are.”

“On three, push it up about two inches. I need to undo the wiring, One, two, three.”

Shepard quickly undid the couplings, before reaching out and helping Steve lower the broken window to the floor.

“Nicely done, Shepard, I don’t think I’ve seen one go quite that well before.”

“Thanks, Steve,” Shepard inspected the now empty space, “I’m going to clean up the frame and then we can get the new one in, want to get it ready? James, can you bring over the new seal and glue, please?”

“Sure, Lola.”

Shepard had the new seal and glue ready in record time, double-checking her work before helping Steve fit the new window in place, “there we go, now we wait 24 hours to let the glue set, and we can double-check that the shuttle will pressurize.”

“Great job, Jane,” Steve pressed on the window, admiring her handiwork.

“Why thank you,” Shepard jumped from the hood, wiping her hands on a nearby cloth, “I’m starving, dinner time?”

“You two go ahead,” Steve waved over the tools, “I’ll tidy up.”

“I can help?” Kaidan offered.

“Cute,” Shepard linked arms with James, “have a good night boys.”

James pressed the button for deck 3 and looked at Shepard with an arched eyebrow, “you set Steve up with Kaidan.”

“Yep.”

“You think that’s a good idea?”

“I think it’s a great idea, they have a lot in common, they both need someone in their lives, and they like each other.”

“If you say so, Lola.”

***

“Are you done for the day?” James asked as they put away their dishes.

“I am, why?”

“Movie night?”

“I think you just want to sleep in my bed.”

“it’s a comfy bed,” James agreed, “but I just wanted to spend some time with you.”

“You’re welcome to come up,” Shepard looked over at the med bay, “I just need to check in with Chakwas first, want to get changed into something comfortable and meet me in the med bay?”

“Sure.”

James changed as quickly as he could, pulling on a pair of sweats and a clean T-shirt, grabbing his toothbrush and comb, sticking them in his pocket.

Shepard and Dr. Chakwas were chatting when James arrived in the med bay, Dr. Chakwas smiled at him as he walked in.

“I’m glad you decided to go for it, Lieutenant.”

“Me too,” James agreed.

“Now, I’m afraid I must do my duty as a doctor and tell you to take a seat on that table,” Dr. Chakwas pointed, “Shepard, you too.”

“Why do I have to do it? This body has never had sex with _anyone_ ,” Shepard pouted but sat on the table leaving room for James.

“What are we doing?”

“Standard protocol,” Dr. Chakwas retrieved some supplies from a cabinet and walked over, “sorry, Commander, it applies to you, too.”

“Fine.”

“Still not clear on what’s happening here.”

“An STD screening, Lieutenant,” Dr. Chakwas ran her scanner over Shepard’s body before taking pulling up a device that James knew was used for blood tests, “when an Alliance doctor is made aware of a relationship, we are to conduct screening on both parties. It’s one of the ways they try to keep the Alliance safe. A quick pinch, Commander.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Shepard held her arm still as Dr. Chakwas drew the blood, “I keep telling her that _this_ body hasn’t had sex with anyone, so I know I’m clean.”

“You are indeed, Commander,” Dr. Chakwas reviewed the results as they scrolled across her screen, “though you have a slight iron deficiency. Your turn, Lieutenant.”

James sat patiently as Dr. Chakwas ran the same tests on him.

“When was your last sexual partner?”

“I don’t know,” James thought about it, “before I was watching Shepard as her guard.”

“A year?” Dr. Chakwas offered, “nine months?”

“Probably nine or ten months,” James tried not to feel too uncomfortable, “why?”

“Because I need to make sure that you don’t have anything that may not show up in your blood yet,” Dr. Chakwas checked, “as it is, you’re both clean. Shepard, you have the implant, so pregnancy should not be an issue.”

“Sounds good,” Shepard slid down from the table, “movie night?”

“Let’s go,” James followed Shepard to the elevator, “that was a bit uncomfortable.”

“Yeah?”

“You didn’t think so?”

“Not really,” Shepard pressed the button for her floor, “someone brought scale itch onto the Normandy while I was working with Cerberus, let me tell you it spread _everywhere_. I’d rather go through the screening.”

“True. Did you figure out who brought it on board?”

“Kelly,” Shepard laughed, “she took cross-species relationships _very_ seriously. Poor Grunt, he was so embarrassed when he had to tell me.”

“I bet,” James followed Shepard into her cabin, “I’m just going to put my stuff in the bathroom.”

“You brought up your toothbrush?” Shepard grinned as she walked over to her stash of popcorn, “I knew you were just using me for my bed.”

“You’ve figured me out, Lola,” James set his toothbrush on the counter next to Shepard’s, “it’s uncomfortable sleeping in a normal bunk when you’re a big as me.”

“Yeah, I guess it would be,” Shepard agreed, “you’re probably too wide, right?”

“A bit, I just have to sleep on my side.”

“But you prefer sleeping on your back.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because we lived together,” Shepard rolled her eyes, “and you never shut your bedroom door.”

“I had to be able to hear you if you left,” James took the offered bag of popcorn.

“James, you sleep like the dead, and I’m N7. You were a guard by title only, I could have snuck out if I wanted too. You wouldn’t have known.”

“Yeah, how do you figure?”

“Because I did weekly poker games with Anderson, and you never noticed,” Shepard laughed at the expression on James’ face.

“No shit?”

“No shit, I used to pack up and leave around 11, I’d be back by 4.”

“Well, …fuck.”

“Don’t take it personally,” Shepard pulled out the second bag of popcorn, passing it to James, “I’m just going to get changed.”

“Did you do it every week?” James took a seat on the bed, watching as she undressed.

“I only missed one.”

“Yeah, why?”

“It was your birthday. Remember, I got permission for us to go out?”

James did remember, Shepard had spent the morning in various phone calls before Anderson had sent him a message saying that they were allowed to go to a local restaurant, providing they were back before midnight. James had been touched at the effort and had spent the entire dinner trying to memorize how Shepard looked in candlelight.

Shepard undid her bra, throwing it the hamper before going through the top drawer of her dresser and grabbing an over-sized t-shirt, pulling it over her head.

“You’re not self-conscious at all, are you?”

“Should I be?” Shepard asked as she kicked off her boots and took off her pants.

“Well, no, you’re beautiful. I’ve just never been with a girl who doesn’t have _something_ they don’t like about themselves. I’ve for sure never had a girl get naked in front of me as easily as you do.”

“I have lots of things I don’t like, but after years of undressing in communal showers, you learn to get over the awkwardness. You seemed just fine in the shower this morning.”

“Normally I’m shy, I wouldn’t normally just get naked to hang out while I was…you know.”

“Hard?” Shepard started pulling the pins from her hair, “why not? It’s natural.”

“I was thinking with my smaller head.”

“I was under the impression you wanted me to stay away from your “smaller head” until after we’ve dated,” Shepard hissed as she took the braid out, rubbing her scalp as her hair settled down her back.

“Yeah,” James agreed, though he wasn’t sure why he felt as strongly about it as he did when he watched Shepard walk over to him dressed in nothing but a small pair of underwear and an oversized shirt, “the shower was nice though, I’ve never had someone wash me before it was…” James struggled to find the word.

“Intimate?” Shepard offered as she pulled back the covers and tucked her legs under the sheet.

“Yeah,” James passed Shepard the popcorn before standing and pulling his shirt over his head, getting into bed next to her.

“Keeping the sweats on?”

“The only way I’ll behave myself.”

“Fair enough,” Shepard moved over so she could rest her head against James’ shoulder, “what are we watching tonight?”

“You pick.”

***

 _Fuck these sweatpants, fuck waiting_ , James’ brain was screaming at him, _look how beautiful she is, and you want to wait?_

James glanced over at Shepard, who was watching the movie with interest, popcorn long since discarded on her bedside table as she absentmindedly sucked the remaining butter from her thumb. When Shepard noticed James watching her, she arched an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Can’t a guy look?”

“Sure you can, but it defeats the point of movie night if you’re watching me instead of watching the movie.”

“I’d rather look at you.”

Shepard smiled, “why do I feel like you’re torturing yourself being here in bed with me?”

“I am,” James agreed, “big time.”

“Why is it so important to you?” Shepard’s attention was focused on him now, and James felt his heart give an affectionate thump in his chest.

“Because you’re different from the other girls I’ve been with. I want it to work out long term. Every long-term relationship I’ve ever seen started with dating.”

“You’re adorable,” Shepard smiled and shook her head, “you couldn’t even decide if you wanted to date me, and now you’re worried that it won't last if we have sex.”

“I didn’t want to date you in general because I was scared it wouldn’t last. I just couldn’t stand the thought of losing you to someone else.”

“You would never lose me, James,” Shepard lifted James’ arm, tucking herself against his chest.

“I really hope not.”


	7. Chapter 7

James couldn’t stand it, Shepard pressed against him, one leg wrapped over his thigh, her long hair draped over his arm where it was wrapped around her back, holding her close.

His cock twitching along with his heartbeat just due to her proximity.

“Graphics are so much better now,” Shepard commented as a zombie appeared on screen, “I can’t imagine how long it must have taken to do that with just makeup.”

“Uh-huh,” James fought the urge to roll Shepard on her back and kiss her senseless.

“You know, people used to wear those contacts all the time, it was like wearing glasses before the surgery became so common.”

“Neat.”

“James,” Shepard glanced up at him, “what was I just talking about?”

James had no idea, “uh.”

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Nothing,” James lied as he thought about what it would look like to have Shepard bent over the couch.

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“It’s nothing, Lola. Don’t worry.”

Shepard shrugged, shifting her position to move her leg, accidentally brushing James’ erection in the process.

“ _Fuck_ ,” James swore, as the sparks of pleasure traveled up his spine, closing his eyes against the sensation.

“Sorry,” Shepard apologized, “I thought I was further down.”

“It’s okay,” James took a deep breath, “no worries.”

“Why are you torturing yourself?”

“I want to be close to you.”

“That’s very sweet, but you must be uncomfortable.”

“So uncomfortable.”

“If you want me to help with that,” Shepard started, “not sex,” she clarified before James could cut in, “I will.”

“Lola…”

“Just an offer, you don’t need to take me up on it.”

James closed his eyes, picturing Shepard reaching down and sliding her hands under his sweats, his body giving a shiver at the mental picture.

“Okay, I’m moving over,” Shepard tried to slide back, held in place by James’ hand on her back.

“Don’t,” James protested.

“James, you’re so turned on, you’re shaking. I feel like I’m torturing you.”

“I’m torturing me,” James kept Shepard close, “I still want you with me.”

“Do you like it, or something?” Shepard relaxed back into James’ grip, “the anticipation?”

“A bit,” James considered, “I guess.”

“You like just laying there thinking about what it’s going to be like when you’re finally inside me?”

James took a steadying breath, “yes.”

“Well, traditionally, most people wait for the _third_ date.”

“Fuck, seriously?” 

“Yep.”

“I don’t think I can last that long,” James thought about it, “that would be what, a week from now?”

“Depending on how often we go on dates, yeah. Personally, I’m not sure you’re going to last the night.”

“Me either,” James agreed.

“It would be interesting, though,” Shepard commented, “if you did.”

“You don’t think I can?”

“No,” Shepard chuckled, “I don’t.”

“I’m a marine, Lola, my entire training is based around discipline.”

“Good for you, Lieutenant,” Shepard pressed a kiss to his chest.

“You don’t seem nearly as affected.”

“Oh, I am,” Shepard’s hand moved from his chest to his stomach, stopping just above his belly button, “I was wet all morning thinking about you.”

James’ cock twitched, and Shepard smiled as she noticed the movement, “difference between you and me is that I came back to my cabin for lunch and took my best vibrator for a spin, so I’m not as pent up as you are.”

James’ mouth dropped open, and he glanced down at Shepard, “can you stop with the dirty talk, _please.”_

“You said I wasn’t affected; I was just telling you that you were wrong.”

“Fuck,” James watched the credits roll at the end of the movie, completely unsure of what had actually happened within the plot.

“You’ll be okay, big guy, depending on the traffic in the system we’re cutting through, we might be on the Citadel by tomorrow night.”

“Our date is planned for the night after that.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fun,” Shepard stood, “just going to brush my teeth, and I’ll be back.”

“Okay, Lola,” James waited until the bathroom door closed behind her before lifting the waistband of his pants, relieving some of the pressure, “god damn.”

James felt like he was in high school all over again, his body rebelling against him due to the proximity of a pretty girl. James was convinced he hadn’t been this hard in years, wishing for a moment of privacy to take care of the issue. Shepard had offered to help, James considered taking her up on it.

“All yours,” Shepard called to him as she skipped down the stairs back toward the bed.

“Thanks, Lola,” James stood, not missing how Shepard’s eyes traveled over his body, “See something you like?”

“You know it, Vega,” Shepard dropped onto the bed, “you’re sexy as hell. I can’t wait to get my hands on you.”

James smiled, “soon.”

“I hope so, my poor vibrator can’t handle all the extra attention it’s been getting while I spend my nights cuddling you.”

***

James had been in the bathroom for ten minutes, willing his erection away with no success.

_Did you get lost -JS_

James sighed, looking at the message before deciding to answer honestly.

_Trying to get my body under control – JV_

_Not working? – JS_

_Not when I know you’re out there, no – JV_

_I’m willing to help you out, no sex required – JS_

James opened the bathroom door, walking over to the bed, standing beside it for a minute before deciding to take off his sweatpants, leaving him in his boxers. He was going to be uncomfortable anyway, he didn’t need to deal with the elastic waistband too.

“Taking me up on my offer?”

“Can’t handle the waistband,” James got into bed next to Shepard.

Shepard looked at James with a sympathetic smile, before turning off the lights, “I admire your resolve.”

James’ resolve was slipping, but he wasn’t going to tell Shepard’ that.

“Good night, Lola.”

***

It had been hours, James laying awake next to Shepard, the darkness obscuring Shepard enough he couldn’t tell if she was asleep, or just still. James sighed.

“Okay?” Shepard whispered to him.

Not asleep then, James’ mind supplied.

“Lola…”

“Yeah?”

“Please touch me,” James’ cock gave a hard twitch in anticipation.

“You’re sure?”

“No sex,” James requested, “but I can’t wait.”

“Okay,” Shepard moved, pulling back the blankets and gently tugging on the top of his boxers, “off.”

James lifted his hips, letting Shepard peel them down his legs and toss them in the direction of his sweatpants.

“Any requests?”

“I don’t care,” James reached for Shepard, pulling her close enough to kiss.

Shepard let James hold her in place, tongues fighting for dominance as he clung to her, his body and mind past the point of desperation.

Shepard understood, shifting her balance and reaching between them to grasp James’ cock, pumping him slowly.

“ _Ah,”_ James rolled his hips into Shepard’s hand.

“Easy, big guy, I’ve got this.”

It wasn’t going to take long anyway, James realized with some embarrassment. The need to cum setting in his core like a lead weight as Shepard’s movements increased. It was likely better to get some of this sexual tension worked out now, James considered as Shepard kissed the side of his neck, it wouldn’t do to cum in 30-seconds the first time they had sex.

“Feel good?” Shepard asked as she stopped for a minute to drop her hand lower, teasing his balls gently.

“So good,” James pulled Shepard in for another kiss, “ _so good_.”

James fisted the sheets as Shepard slowly started kissing her way down his chest, realizing with horror that he was likely going to cum the second she put her mouth on him.

“Lola, I won't last.”

“I don’t expect you to,” Shepard kneeled between James’ legs, and in the darkness of the room, he felt her breath brush against him before he felt Shepard’s tongue reach out and flick over the head of his cock, picking up the precum that waited there.

“Jane,” James reached down to tangle his fingers in her hair, “ _fuck_.”

Shepard took James’ cock into her mouth and moaned, within a second James was done for, cumming with a startled shout.

Shepard kept moving, drawing out his orgasm until he was drained and panting where he laid on the bed.

“Better?”

James chuckled, trying to catch his breath, “are you seriously asking?”

“Yes,” Shepard moved to curl up beside him, “everyone likes different things.”

“Well I like you, and that was amazing,” James started to relax as he felt his cock finally begin to soften for the first time all night, “my endurance is usually better.”

“Not too worried about that, James, you’ve been hard for like five hours.”

“Trust me, I know,” James turned to look at Shepard, only just making her out in the dark, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I hit the jackpot with you, Lola.”

***

James woke to an empty cabin, his clothes folded on the couch with no sign of Shepard being there. If he weren’t still naked, James would have thought the entire night had been a dream.

_Lola, where are you? – JV_

_Working – I had the 400 shift today. How’d you sleep? -JS_

James considered for a moment, doing mental math. Between the movie and the time until the blowjob, Shepard had likely only had two hours of sleep before she had to get up for work.

_Damn, Lola, you must be exhausted – JV_

_Worth it – JS_

James then remembered, with a sense of dread, that he had fallen asleep before doing anything to reciprocate her attention, a few minutes after the event.

_Fuck Lola, I’m sorry – JV_

_For? – JS_

_Not doing anything for you last night? I try to not be a selfish lover – JV_

_Don’t sweat it -JS_

“Shit,” James ran his hand through his hair, “asshole.”

_I didn’t mean to crash on you – JV_

_Seriously, James, don’t worry about it. I took it as a compliment that I rocked your world so hard you couldn’t stay awake – JS_

_No doubt about that – JV_

_Make it up to me later – JS_

_You bet. I’m off today, do you mind if I hang out here? -JV_

_Not at all, make yourself at home – JS_

***

It was about 1400 when he felt the shift in the Normandy, Shepard walking in a few minutes later.

“We’re in final approach for the Citadel,” Shepard answered James before he could ask.

“How was your day?” James asked as he watched Shepard go for the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water and taking a drink.

“Not bad, all things considered. What did you get up too?”

“Nothing, really,” James answered honestly, “it’s been so long since I’ve had a bed that fits me. I spent most of it on my back in bed.”

“Sounds nice,” Shepard looked around the room, “I guess I should pack.”

“Got some time for me, first?”

“What did you have in mind?”

“I’m not sure,” James answered, “I just wanted to spend some time with you.”

“You know,” Shepard walked over to the bed, sitting next to him, “for someone who wasn’t sure that they wanted to even date me, you’re a real suck.”

“Am I coming on too strong?” James backpedaled.

“That’s not what I said,” Shepard reassured, “don’t worry.”

“I don’t want to screw things up with you.”

Shepard smiled at him, and James felt his heart do a back-flip, “I’m easy, no need to stress.”

“Are you?”

Shepard laughed, “well, yeah, I offered to sleep with you like two days ago. I’m pretty much a sure thing.”

 _She’s perfect_ , James reached for Shepard, encouraging her to sit on his lap, “this is going to be the best shore leave ever.”

“Is that so?” Shepard put the lid on the water bottle, tossing it to the couch, “why’s that?”

“See, there’s this girl that I’ve had a thing for and I finally got up the balls to ask her out.”

“Did you?” Shepard shifted, straddling him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, “and what did she say?”

“She said yes, which is pretty surprising,” Jams shrugged, “she’s got no taste in men, I guess, but it works out for me.”

Shepard leaned over and whispered, “maybe she just wanted to see you naked.”

“She’s already seen me naked. I’m hoping she wasn’t disappointed, so she doesn’t cancel our date.”

“Definitely not disappointed,” Shepard teased the hair at the nape of his neck, bringing his skin up in goosebumps, “I think you’re amazing.”

“When you hit the weights as much as I do…”

“I don’t just mean your body,” Shepard kissed James’ forehead, “I mean you.”

“Oh.”

“What?” Shepard’s fingers trailed over his tattoos.

“I’m used to girls being interested in me because I’m big, you know, a casual fuck with the muscle guy.”

“Don’t get me wrong, James, I’m very interested in your body,” Shepard kissed him, slowly, until James was clinging to her as she pulled away, “I also love that you’re into classic movies, boxing, cooking and are funny as hell.”

James blushed, feeling the heat in his cheeks that he tried to hide by kissing down Shepard’s neck, “yeah?”

“Mm-hmm. I also love that you try to pretend that you don’t blush when I compliment you.”

“I don’t blush.”

Shepard ran her hands through his hair, using it to gently pull his face away from her neck, “looking pretty pink to me, Vega.”

James rolled his eyes, “you’re imagining things.”

“Am I?” Shepard pushed on James’ shoulders until he laid back on the bed, “I think you’re blushing, cutey.”

“Nope,” James felt the flush darken as Shepard pulled her sweater over her head, leaving her in an N7 t-shirt.

“You know what else I think, Lieutenant?”

“What’s that, _Commander_.”

“I think you’re happy to see me,” Shepard rolled her hips against James’ rapidly hardening cock.

“I’m always happy to see you,” James brought his hands up to squeeze her hips as she rolled her body again, “always have been.”

“You forgot your name the first time you met me,” Shepard laughed, “literally.”

 _Yeah, that was embarrassing_ , James internally cringed, “you’ve been my hero since I joined the Alliance. Anderson hadn’t told me that we were going to _meet_ just that he had a project for me that involved the Normandy.”

“Still love how you introduced yourself as “Lieutenant James, Uh.” It made my day.”

James groaned, “you have no idea how pretty you are. It made my brain short circuit.”

“Adorable.”

“Shut up, Lola,” James rolled Shepard onto her back, switching their positions, “like you’ve never done anything embarrassing.”

“Daily,” Shepard agreed, “Garrus caught me dancing in the kitchen this morning.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh, I got to suck off this _really_ good looking guy last night. It felt worthy of a celebratory dance.”

“Okay, now I’m blushing,” James pulled up Shepard’s shirt and pressed a kiss to the soft skin of her stomach.

“Commander?” Joker’s voice came over the speaker.

Shepard sighed, sitting up, “yes, Joker?”

“I need you in the cockpit for the final clearance.”

“I’m trying to get laid here, Joker.”

Joker laughed, “Sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I am a little bit,” Joker promised, “tell Vega I say sorry.”

“He can hear you,” Shepard stood, shooting James an apologetic smile, “I’m on my way.”

“Hey, are EDI and I still cool to stay with you during shore leave?”

“Sure, I’ve got two spare bedrooms.”

“I’m taking one of those, Lola.”

“No, big guy, you’re in with me,” Shepard winked at him.

***

“Alright,” Shepard checked her datapad one last time, “any questions?”

“No, Shepard, we’re good,” Liara assured.

“Great, well, have a good shore leave everyone. Call me if you need bail money.”

James, Joker, and EDI, hung back with Shepard as the crew started to dispatch to their various hotels and apartments over the Citadel.

“Right, everyone has everything? I’ll call a cab,” Shepard pulled up her omni-tool, “we’re staying just off the strip in Anderson’s apartment, so let’s try not to destroy the place.”

“Why’d Anderson let you stay at his house?” Joker asked as he leaned against EDI, legs already sore from standing.

“We’re friends,” Shepard shrugged, “I put him up in my place on Earth when he’s there. It’s like an exchange thing. He has my keys, I have his.”

“Hackett, Anderson, you’re friends with a lot of the brass,” James commented.

“Yep,” Shepard agreed, “honestly, it’s good for your career. I’ll be an Admiral one day, and it would be nice to get along with the other brass before I get there.”

“I bet you’ll make Admiral before you’re forty.”

“Well, that doesn’t leave me long, if you count the two years I was dead,” Shepard considered, “I’m 32 now.”

“Dating an older woman,” Joker carefully elbowed James, “nice.”

“You’re dating the ship,” Shepard grabbed Joker’s bag from him as the cab arrived, “don’t judge me.”

“I’m not, older women are sexy.”

“Your girlfriend is like, what, three?” Shepard loaded the bags in the trunk of the car, “do you have a birthday, EDI?”

“No, I do not. I was programmed to think as if I was in my late twenties.”

“You should pick one, so we can celebrate it with the rest of the crew.”

“I – “EDI seemed to consider the concept for a moment, “I will, thank you, Shepard.”

“We need you to pick a last name, too, so we can get papers made for you if you want to play human and get married or something someday.”

“Commander,” Joker pretended to look shocked, “that’s illegal.”

“Sure is,” Shepard pressed in the co-ordinates for the apartment, “but considering you’re totally in love with her, it would make sense to make her a legal human.”

“I would like that,” EDI sat next to Joker, “but I would need a different last name to Jeff, so when if we got married, I could take his name.”

“Use Normandy?” James suggested, “or Vega.”

“Not Vega,” Joker cut in, “if you’re taking any guys last name, it’s mine.”

“You can use Shepard, I’m sure my mom would love to adopt another daughter.”

“EDI Shepard,” Joker nodded, “I like it.”

“Me too,” EDI agreed.

“Then let me know you’re birthday, and we’ll get you all set up, sis.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta read - all mistakes are my own.

“Thanks for letting us stay with you,” Joker said as he leaned against the elevator wall on the ride up, “we’ll try not to intrude.”

“No sweat, I’m always happy to have you around,” Shepard reassured, “there’s a bedroom downstairs, would that be easier for you?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“Nope, that’s fine. I had groceries delivered yesterday, so if you don’t want to leave the house all week, we should be well-stocked.”

“I love you,” Joker held up his hands defensively as James glared at him, “I’m joking. Easy.”

“Our floor,” Shepard looked up as the elevator came to a stop, “let’s go.”

“Lola, let me get the bags,” James protested as Shepard moved to pick them up.

Shepard rolled her eyes, but let James carry the bags as she led the group down the hall the apartment.

“He’s not used to dating the hero of the galaxy,” Joker laughed as he followed them.

“I think he’s just trying to be a gentleman, Jeff.” EDI offered.

“By carrying _Commander Shepard’s_ bag?”

“It’s the thought that counts,” Shepard unlocked the front door, “it’s not his fault that I shoot thresher maws for fun and carry 80 lbs of kit.”

***

“Dinner?” Shepard asked as the synthetic sun set on the Citadel.

“Sure,” James nodded, “want to go out?”

“No,” Joker called from where he was laying on the other couch, his head in EDIs lap.

“I can cook,” Shepard offered.

“Hell yeah, what can you make?”

“What do you what?” Shepard asked as she walked to the kitchen.

“Stir fry?”

Shepard checked the contents of the fridge before nodding, “I can do that for you.”

“Sweet,” Joker turned to face James, “Shepard’s an amazing cook. You’re in for a treat.”

“Yeah?”

“For sure. I always try and stay with her on shore leave just to eat her food.”

“What does Shepard get out of it?”

“Company,” Shepard answered EDI, “we were both _very_ single up until this shore leave, so we would hang out while the rest of the crew was dating.”

“You guys never considered dating?”

“Oh god,” Joker answered at the same time Shepard let out an exaggerated gagging noise.

“He’s like my brother, except, you know, alive.”

“She’s like my sister,” Joker agreed, “I love her, I’d do anything for her, but I would rather die than see her naked.”

“You’re missing out,” James winked at Shepard, “she’s beautiful.”

“She _is_ beautiful,” Joker nodded, “but I don’t want to see her naked.”

****

“Dinner’s ready,” Shepard called from the kitchen, “EDI, are you eating?”

“It is not required for my continued function.”

“I didn’t ask if you needed to eat, I asked if you wanted to eat. Can you taste food?”

“Oh,” EDI considered, “no, I can not. I will eat if you prefer.”

“Doesn’t matter to me, but if you would like some, I’ve made plenty.”

“It smells amazing,” James looked at the spread of food, “I didn’t know you cooked.”

“I can do all sorts of neat things,” Shepard served James a plate and passed it to him, “go sit and tell me what you think of it. Joker, go grab a chair and I’ll bring some over for you.”

“Thanks,” Joker sat next to James, “well?”

“Waiting for Lola,” James watched Shepard as she moved through the kitchen, “manners.”

“Really trying to win her over, aren’t you?” Joker whispered.

“Yeah,” James whispered back, “not very good at this stuff.”

“Pour the wine,” Joker whispered again, nodding to the bottle of wine on the table, “help her.”

James grabbed the bottle, pouring a glass for each of them, including EDI.

“Oh, thank you,” Shepard smiled at James as she walked over, placing a plate of food in front of Joker.

“You’re welcome,” James gave a small nod to Joker when Shepard turned back for her own food.

“Eat,” Shepard waved at their plates as she sat, “I didn’t cook for you to look at it.”

***

“Amazing,” James groaned as he pushed away his plate, “that was so good.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Shepard smiled, moving to stand to clear the plates.

“I’ve got it, you cooked,” James protested, taking Shepard’s plate from her.

“So polite,” Shepard smiled, “thank you.”

“No problem,” James took Joker’s plate, “I can’t believe that we finished all of that.”

“I can,” Joker leaned back in his chair, relaxing, “it was great, Jane, thanks for cooking.”

“No problem.”

“Did you just call her Jane?” James asked as he loaded the dishwasher.

“We’re off the clock.”

“You could call me Jane on the clock too, I don’t mind. It’s my name.”

“It’s not professional.”

“I’m not professional,” Shepard shrugged, “it doesn’t matter to me. James calls me Lola.”

“James has been in love with you since we got on the Normandy, maybe longer,” Joker finished his wine, “doesn’t count.”

James almost dropped a dish, narrowly catching it before it fell.

“Oh like she doesn’t know, jarhead, come on.”

“Be nice, Joker,” Shepard smiled at James, “just ignore him.”

“I am being nice,” Joker turned to EDI, “would you want to know if someone was in love with you?”

“If they wanted to tell me, yes,” EDI answered, “though that poses an interesting question. Are you in love with me, Jeff?”

Joker gawked and James laughed, “nice one, EDI.”

***

“I’m going to head up to bed,” Shepard yawned, “you going to join me, or are you going to stay down here for a bit?”

“I’ll come,” James stood to follow Shepard, “good night guys.”

“See you in the morning,” Joker gave a wave.

“Have you been up here yet?” Shepard asked as she led James upstairs.

“No, not yet, why?”

“If you like my bed on the Normandy, you’ll love this,” Shepard slid the door open and stepped inside with a flourish.

“Whoa,” James looked around the bedroom, “it’s massive.”

“Sure is,” Shepard grabbed her bag, “there’s a bathroom just down the hallway, I’ll be right back.”

“Sure,” James grabbed his own bag and started looking for his toothbrush, deciding to forgo the sweatpants he had brought to sleep in his boxers.

James took a few minutes to look at the various art in the room, as well as the small statues lining the walls.

“David has always been into art, I’ve never really understood it myself,” Shepard spoke from the door, toothbrush in hand wearing only an oversized t-shirt and underwear, “what’s the point of a vase that can’t hold water?”

“No idea” James shrugged, “I don’t get it either.”

“Go get ready for bed, I’ll be here.”

James gave a nod, walking down the hallway until he found the bathroom, letting his mind wander as he brushed his teeth.

_What’s the point in waiting one more night?_

James shook his head, _no, we’re doing things right._

 _You owe her for last night_.

James nodded to himself, rolling his eyes as he realized the internal dialogue.

 _Talking to yourself, finally going crazy_.

Walking back down the hallway James found Shepard pulling back the sheets and fluffing the pillows, “find everything you needed?”

“All good,” James nodded.

“Okay? You seem nervous.”

“Just settling into this routine, I guess.”

“Three nights does not a routine make,” Shepard rolled her eyes as she got into bed, “there’s another bedroom just down the hall if you prefer?”

“No way,” James got into bed next to her, “I like sleeping with you.”

“Didn’t do much sleeping last night, Mr. Vega,” Shepard wrapped herself around James’ side, head on his chest.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that,” James tugged at Shepard’s braid until it undid, dropping the elastic on the bedside table, “I feel bad for keeping you up and then crashing on you.”

“I’m not worried about it.”

“I am.”

“Well, then let me reassure you that I’m a pretty laid-back chick, so you don’t need to worry about me getting mad over nothing. I’m sure you’ll even the playing field after our date.”

“I’ll do it now if you want.”

“I appreciate the offer, but I’m exhausted. Raincheck?”

“Absolutely.”

***

Someone was screaming, and James and Shepard woke with a start.

“Shit,” Shepard jumped from the bed, running for her bag to grab a pair of sweats and pulling them on.

“What’s happening?”

“Joker’s having a nightmare,” Shepard pulled her door open and took off down the stairs, James following behind her.

“Jeff,” Shepard called out for him.

“Here,” EDI called back from the living room.

“You died,” Joker was gasping, “you’re dead.”

“Easy, Joker,” Shepard walked toward him cautiously, like a wild animal about to spook, “I’m okay.

“No,” Joker shook his head, “you’re dead and it’s my fault.”

“You’re awake, and I’m right here,” Shepard sat on the edge of the coffee table reaching for Joker’s hand, bringing it to her neck.

It took a second to James to realize that Shepard was holding Joker’s fingers over her pulse.

“You died,” Joker whispered, eyes transfixed on Shepard’s neck.

“I did,” Shepard confirmed.

“It was my fault.”

“No, Joker, it wasn’t your fault.”

“I wouldn’t leave the ship, if I had just _left_ _the ship_ when you asked me too, you would have survived.”

“If you had left the Normandy when she needed you, you wouldn’t be the Joker that I know.”

“I killed you.”

“The Collectors killed me, Joker. Not you,” Shepard squeezed Joker’s hand carefully, “if you want to be technical, a hole in my airline killed me.”

Joker sighed, giving his head a shake and dropping his hand, “sorry, those nightmares are hard to wake up from. It’s hard to wrap my head around you being alive when I wake up.”

“Well, people don’t come back from the dead often, I think it’s understandable. Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry, Jane.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“You should have left me on the ship.”

“Well, I would have been a pretty shitty friend and Commander if I had left you to die when I could save you,” Shepard moved to sit next to Joker, nodding at James to sit on the other couch, “it’s my job as Commander to save as many of my crew as I can, even if it costs me my life.”

“You’re not even kind of mad at me, are you?”

“Not even slightly. I thought the nightmares were getting better?”

“They are,” EDI brought her hand to Joker’s back, rubbing soothingly, “this is the first he’s had in a month.”

“We were watching a movie where someone got spaced,” Joker ran a hand over his face, “that probably did it.”

“Ah,” Shepard nodded, “yeah, I can’t watch those either.”

“Did it hurt?”

“Dying? No. I blacked out before I died, so I don’t remember it. I remember hitting the button, watching your shuttle door shut, the heat of an explosion, smacking my back against a part of the Normandy, and a hissing sound. Then, not much.”

“At least it didn’t hurt.”

“Not at all. Neither did coming back. You were the first thing I asked about though.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I wanted to make sure you had gotten out okay.”

“Broken arm,” Joker pointed to the faint scar left from the surgery to put it back together, “PTSD. That’s about it.”

“Come here,” Shepard pulled Joker into a hug, “we’re both okay. It’s been a rough few years but it’s alright now.”

“I know,” Joker glanced up at James, “sorry, jarhead, I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”

“It’s all good,” James assured, “we were asleep.”

“Boring,” Joker managed a joke.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m going to hit the hay.”

“Alright,” Shepard gave Joker a reassuring smile, “I’ll make you breakfast in the morning and you’ll feel better.”

***

James had managed to sneak out of bed without waking Shepard, busying himself in the kitchen cooking everyone breakfast.

“What are you doing up early, jarhead?”

“Why do you call me that?” James asked as he buttered some toast.

“Because you’re like the perfect marine?”

“So long as you’re not making fun of me,” James shrugged, “I woke up early to make everyone breakfast. Lola hasn’t slept much for the past few days.”

“That’s nice of you. It’s your date tonight, right?”

“Yeah.”

“What did you plan?”

“Got us reservations at her favorite restaurant and tickets to see a movie, nothing crazy.”

“Shepard loves movie anything, so I’m sure she’ll have a good time.”

“I hope I don’t fuck it up,” James flipped the eggs and turned on the coffee maker.

“Dude, she’s just as lost on you as you are on her. You’ll be fine.”

“She deserves a lot better than me.”

“But you’re who I want,” Shepard said as she walked toward the kitchen.

“Good morning,” James felt himself flush caught again by Shepard walking in on a conversation. Again.

“Good morning,” Shepard greeted, walking over to kiss his cheek, “how did you sleep?”

“Next to a beautiful woman, so pretty damn good.”

“This looks good,” Shepard looked over James’ shoulder as he cooked, “I would have made breakfast.”

“You needed sleep,” James shrugged, “I’m a decent cook.”

“I know you are. Coffee?”

“Please.”

Shepard took down the cups from the hooks over the sink, filling them.

“I take-“

“Two sugars, I know,” Shepard rolled her eyes, “we lived together.”

“Right,” James took the offered cup.

“Joker takes his black, Kaidan drinks mostly cream and sugar with coffee just to colour it, Liara prefers tea,” Shepard passed Joker a coffee, “I’m a pro.”

“Admiral Hackett?”

“Tea with honey.”

“Anderson?”

“Lives off of water, you’ll never get him drinking coffee or tea.”

“You?”

“Black,” Shepard took a sip, “and strong. I want it to be used as back up fuel for the shuttle.”

“Gross.”

“Good luck with your N7 training then, buddy, because you’ll be living off of instant.”

***

“Commander, I have an incoming vid-call from Admiral Shepard,” Glyph flew into the room.

“Great,” Shepard answered the call, casting it to the screen above the island in the kitchen, “Hey Mom.”

“Janey,” Admiral Shepard smiled, “am I interrupting breakfast?”

“It’s fine,” Shepard gave a dismissive wave, “almost done. What’s new?”

“Hey, Mom!” Joker called.

“Hi Jeffrey, I hear you have a girlfriend.”

“Yep,” Joker pulled EDI into view of the screen, “EDI.”

“EDI Shepard, if I’m to understand the updated information on my file that my daughter didn’t phone me to warn me about.”

“Ah shit, sorry. Meet your new daughter.”

“An unshackled AI?”

“That’s right.”

“You trust her?”

“For sure,” Shepard nodded, “she’s saved my ass plenty of times, she’s a part of my ground crew, too.”

“Alright, warn me next time, would you? Who’s the young man beside you?”

“James Vega,” Joker answered, “her boyfriend.”

“So this is James,” Admiral Shepard gave James an appraising look, “Hannah Shepard, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” James fought the urge to cower under her gaze.

“Don’t scare him, Mom, we haven’t even been on a date yet.”

“I’ve heard quite a bit about you. You were the one acting as guard when Jane was under arrest, right?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“N7 recruit?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Mom,” Shepard cut in, “stop.”

“What? I’m just curious.”

“You’re grilling him. At least take him out to dinner or something. Why aren’t you giving EDI the twenty questions? She’s at least in the family.”

“That’s why I’m calling, actually.”

“To grill James?”

“To see if you’re free for dinner. Dad and I will be on the Citadel tomorrow, we’d like to meet your crew.”

“Oh, sure,” Shepard agreed, “is Dad there?”

“Hang on,” Admiral Shepard moved, and Shepard’s father came into view.

“Hey, Dad,” Shepard smiled, “long time no talk.”

“You know how R&D is when I’m working on a project,” Shepard’s dad sighed, “I missed you, kiddo. Did I hear that you have a boyfriend?”

“Do they count as a boyfriend if you haven’t been on a date yet?” Shepard shrugged, “Dad, this is James, James, this is my dad, Matthew Shepard.”

“Nice to meet you, James. I hope my wife didn’t scare you,” Matthew ducked a swat from Hannah, “she’s ruthless when it comes to Jane.”

“No worries,” James assured, deciding to wrap his arms over Shepard’s shoulders, “Jane’s pretty important.”

“Not going to disagree with you there. Are we seeing you tomorrow, honey?”

“Yep, did you guys want to come over here? I’ll see who from the crew can join us.”

“Sounds great, I’ll message you when we land.”

“Okay, see you guys tomorrow.”

“Bye Janey,” Hannah called from out of view.

“Bye, Mom.”

The call disconnected and Joker broke out into laughter.

“What?”

“Oh, jarhead, you’re fucked. Day after your first date and you’re already meeting the parents.”

“Ignore him, James, my parents are nice. He’s also forgetting that if my Mom and Dad have adopted EDI, which they have, he is _also_ meeting his in-laws tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Joker looked at James, “shit.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also not beta read.

James double-checked his outfit for the night, analyzing his appearance in the mirror. He had decided on black jeans, a grey long sleeve shirt, and dress shoes, casual but stylish.

He checked the time, 1700, he was meeting Shepard in a few minutes. She had disappeared at lunch with _appointments_ , and she hadn’t come back yet.

_Still good for tonight? – JV_

_You know it, why? – JS_

_You’re not here, don’t you need to get ready? – JV_

_What do you think I’ve been doing? – JS_

_Appointments – JV_

_Yep, that’s right. Hair appointment, spa appointment, nail appointment, shopping. I’m like a whole new woman – JS_

_Oh,_ James smiled, touched by the effort, before typing out his response.

_You’re always beautiful, Lola. You didn’t need to get all fancy – JV_

_You’re worth it. I’ll be home in five, just need to drop some stuff off and I’m all yours for the evening – JS_

_Can’t wait – JV_

_Me either – JS_

“Flowers are here,” Joker called up the stairs.

“Coming,” James called back as he gave himself a final once over.

“You went all out,” Joker commented as he handed James the large bouquet of orange roses, “her favorite colour and her favorite flower?”

“Dr. Chakwas told me,” James took the flowers to the kitchen, “I figured why not.”

“They’re very pretty,” EDI admired the blooms.

“What’s your favorite flower, EDI?” 

“I don’t have one.”

“Favorite colour?”

“I don’t have one,” EDI answered James again.

“Take a second to think about it,” James grabbed a vase from one of the cabinets.

“Blue,” EDI said after a minute had passed.

“Solid choice,” James glanced up as he heard the front door open.

“Holy shit,” Joker whistled, “Jane, you look amazing.”

“Why thank you,” Shepard walked into view, and James felt his brain short circuit.

Shepard was dressed casually, a pair of skinny jeans, a flowy white shirt with a black leather jacket and a pair of black heels. It was her hair and makeup that had James transfixed.

Shepard’s long hair had been styled in soft waves, cascading down her back in a half up half down style, almost impossibly shiny. Her golden eyes had been accented by a dark smoky grey eye-shadow which made them stand out and sparkle as she looked at James with amusement.

“Okay, big guy?”

“ _Dios mio,”_ James didn’t know what else to say, “you’re so beautiful.”

“You’re looking pretty sexy yourself,” Shepard practically glided over to him, walking so comfortably in the heels that James would have thought she wore them every day, “are these for me?”

“Uh, yeah,” James took a step back so Shepard could admire the flowers.

“They’re beautiful,” Shepard turned the vase, “and my favorite.”

“I know,” James decided to reach for her, a gentle hand on Shepard’s back, “I thought it might be a nice surprise.”

“It is,” Shepard agreed, “are you ready to go?”

“Yep,” James checked the time, “dinner reservation is in a half-hour, did you want to walk or take a cab?”

“Walk,” Shepard pulled one of the roses from the vase, cutting the steam short and tucking it in her hair.

James could tell he was smiling like an idiot as he offered Shepard his arm, “let’s go then.”

“See you guys later,” Shepard took James’ arm and gave Joker and EDI a wave, “be good.”

***

“Oh my god, it’s Commander Shepard.”

James rolled his eyes, “do people always notice you like this?”

“Not when I’m out of uniform, no, but I guess news has gotten out that the crew is on the Citadel,” Shepard waved at the marine that had been talking about her, “Garrus was stopped for pictures today, too. He messaged me about it when all the women wrapped his arm around their waist. Poor guy was scandalized.”

“Why?”

“Turian’s look at waists the same way humans look at breasts,” Shepard smirked, “he feels like he’s been groping people all day.”

“What does Tali think of that?”

“She thinks it’s hysterical,” Shepard dropped James’ arm, holding his hand instead, “he called me _just_ to be reassured that humans don’t feel the same way. I don't know how many times I've told him, but he needed to hear it once more.”

“Poor Scars,” James laughed.

“He’ll manage,” Shepard paused as two men ran up to her.

“Commander Shepard, can we get a picture?”

“As long as you’re quick, I have a dinner reservation,” Shepard gave James a small smile as she took the picture.

“Want to join us for drinks?”

“Flattered,” Shepard shook her head, “but I’m not sure my boyfriend would be happy.”

“Not so much,” James agreed, crossing his arms over his chest and smiling as the two men shrank.

“Sorry, thanks for the picture.”

“No problem, have a nice night,” Shepard held her hand out for James, “come on, big guy.”

“So, boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend sounds more permanent than “date” does. I don’t think they would be put off if I said you were just a date.”

“I’m not your boyfriend then?”

“Not until you take me out on a date, Vega. I need to know what I’m getting myself into. Ask me again in the morning,” Shepard gave him a wink and James felt himself flush.

***

“Hello, Jane, it’s nice to see you again,” the hostess greeted Shepard warmly.

“Nice to see you, too,” Shepard smiled, “we have a reservation.”

“Nothing under Shepard,” the hostess checked the list, “any other name?”

“Vega,” James answered, “I called the other day.”

“Right, James Vega for two, right this way.”

Shepard followed the hostess through the restaurant as she led them to a small set of stairs at the back, “you booked upstairs?”

“I asked them for somewhere romantic, and private.”

“Oh, nice, so we get the balcony?”

“We had an opening,” the hostess pulled Shepard’s seat back, “and it gives a nice view of the other patrons while giving you some privacy.”

“It’s great, thank you,” Shepard took her seat.

“Your server will be right up.”

“Well, that’s interesting.”

“What’s interesting?” James asked as he sat across from Shepard.

“That,” Shepard pointed to one of the tables on the ground floor.

“Oh shit,” James followed Shepard’s finger to a table where Kaidan and Steve sat. Very clearly on a date.

“Looks like my suggestion went over well,” Shepard winked at James, “told you it was a good idea.”

“It’s good to see Esteban out again,” James watched them for a minute, “so long as the Major is good to him.”

“Kaidan’s not a bad guy, he just doesn’t handle stress well. He would be a great partner for someone with a level head.”

“Like Esteban.”

“Like Steve, yeah,” Shepard picked up the menu, “what are you having?”

“No idea,” James didn’t pick his up, “what do you suggest?”

“Big guy like you, you probably want protein. They do this steak with peppers thing that’s really good.”

“Then that’s what I’ll get.”

“What, you don’t want to check the menu?” Shepard looked up with amusement, “you’re just going to let me pick?”

“Why not? I trust you.”

“Okay,” Shepard handed him her menu, “then you pick mine.”

“Anything you don’t like?”

“Seafood. Other than that, I’m good.”

“Alright then.”

***

“Excuse me,” Shepard caught the attention of their server as he walked by, “would it be possible for me to pay for that table downstairs?”

“The one with the two gentlemen? Certainly. Just so you know, they both ordered steak.”

“It’s Kaidan, of course he ordered steak,” Shepard chuckled, “it’s no problem. I thought it might be nice to cover their first date.”

“Of course, I’ll bring their tab over when they’re finished.”

“I appreciate it.”

“You’re a romantic, Lola.”

“I try,” Shepard took a sip of her wine, “not like it helped me when I was married, but hey, maybe I’ve gotten better with age.”

“You said you split up because he couldn’t handle the missions you were doing?”

“That’s right. I was away a lot with N7. There would be months where I was gone, and I had to be radio silent. He was understandably lonely. In the end, he needed to move on, and I focused on my work. I came home from a mission one day and he was waiting in the living room with his stuff packed.”

“How did that go over?”

“I saw it coming, so, it could have been worse. We had been apart for so long that we only had to wait three months to file for the divorce. As divorces go, it was pretty painless.”

“Do you ever regret getting married?”

“Hmm,” Shepard thought about it for a minute, “yes and no. I had always wanted a marriage like my parents, something that lasted through the challenges and trials, but Ian was a nice guy, he treated me well. I loved him. Does it bother you?”

“What?”

“That I was married before?”

“Oh,” James shook his head, “no. I think it just throws me for a loop that we lived together for so long and I never knew.”

“As I said before, it wasn’t a big event. Dying was more exciting.”

“I bet. Joker still seems pretty tied up over it.”

“Survivors guilt,” Shepard shrugged, “I can’t help him through that. He needs to come to the realization himself that it wasn’t his fault I died. Even if he had gotten off of the ship when I ordered it, it was still likely that I would have died. As Commander, I was always going to be the last person on the ship.”

“Do you think it changed you?”

“Dying? Oh, of course. I don’t get mad as easily now, I try to take time for myself when I can.”

“You’re an amazing woman, Lola,” James took Shepard’s hand where it rested on the table and gave it an affectionate squeeze.

“What about you, what are your long term goals? N7, marriage, kids…”

“All of the above, if I can.”

“You’re going to have a busy few years if you want to do the marriage and kids thing with me. I’m already 32.”

“We can make it work,” James shrugged, “if you want too.”

“Bit early to be worrying about marriage, this is only our first date,” Shepard grabbed the dessert menu, “I am worried about dessert though, am I picking for you again?”

“Sure, let’s do it.”

***

“Watch,” Shepard nodded to Kaidan and Steve as they called for the bill. It had cost Shepard a small fortune, but it was worth it.

Kaidan pointed to Steve as the server told them the bill had been settled, Steve holding his hands up in innocence before they both started looking around the restaurant.

_Look up – JS_

It took them a minute, but when Steve noticed James he waved.

_You look amazing. Thank you – KA_

_You’re welcome, you two have a great night together – JS_

“That was sweet, look how happy Esteban is,” James watched as Steve took Kaidan’s arm as they made their way from the restaurant.

“Told you,” Shepard stole a raspberry from James’ plate.

“We need to get going soon, the movie starts in 45 minutes.”

“Sure,” Shepard finished her wine, “I’m good when you are, just need to settle the bill.”

“I got it earlier when you went to the ladies' room.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted too.”

“Fine, but I’m paying for our next date.”

“I haven’t scared you off?”

“No,” Shepard looked at him, confused, “why would you?”

“I’m bad at this dating thing,” James stood, holding his hand out to Shepard, “I want to do it right.”

“You bought me flowers, took me out to dinner, what else should you be doing?”

“I don’t know,” James shrugged as he led Shepard from the restaurant, “I just want to…I don’t know…win you over I guess.”

“James,” Shepard pulled James to a stop just outside the doors, “you won me over months ago when we lived together on earth. You don’t have to prove anything to me tonight.”

“Yeah?”

“I promise,” Shepard wrapped her arms around James’ neck, “consider me wooed.”

“Happy to hear it,” James pulled Shepard close, keeping his hands on her hips, “I’m going to kiss you now.”

“Please do.”

James did, but then again, he had always been good at following orders.

***

“I can’t think of the last time I actually got to go to a movie theatre. What are they playing?”

“Some old movie I’ve never seen, I think it’s called Pulp Fiction?”

“James,” Shepard turned to face him, suddenly serious, “you love movies and you’ve never seen Pulp Fiction?”

“Uh, no?”

“Oh, that won’t stand, come on,” Shepard pulled James into the line outside of the movies, “I can’t believe you’ve never seen it. It’s right up your alley.”

“Why do I feel like I should be apologizing?”

“Sweetheart,” Shepard rested her hands on his chest, almost eye to eye with the added height of her heels, “you can’t call yourself a movie fan if you haven’t seen Pulp Fiction. That’s like saying you’re a soldier when you haven’t finished basic.”

James smiled at Shepard, “yeah?”

“Yes, of course,” Shepard eyed him cautiously, “why are you smiling at me like that?”

“You called me sweetheart.”

Shepard rolled her eyes but smiled, “who knew you were such a softy, sweetheart, come on, it’s our turn to pay.”

“Two please,” James asked the young man working the counter.

“You two military?”

“Alliance,” Shepard confirmed, “why?”

“Military discount with proof of enlistment.”

Shepard pulled her dog tags from her shirt, letting the man read them.

“Wait, as in that Commander Shepard?”

“The one and only,” Shepard nodded, “nice to meet you.”

“Oh wow, yeah, don’t worry about paying,” the man slid two tickets across the counter, “I’m not supposed to ask, but can I get a picture?”

“Of course, James can take it for us,” Shepard passed him the tickets, “what’s your name?”

“Mark.”

James fought a laugh as Mark almost stumbled out of his ticket booth to get to Shepard.

“Nice to meet you, Mark,” Shepard shook his hand, “let's be quick so your other customers don’t hate me for taking up your time.”

“Sure,” Mark stood awkwardly next to Shepard.

“Relax, or people are going to think you’re terrified of me,” Shepard wrapped her arm around Mark’s waist, pulling his arm over her shoulder, “now, smile.”

James took the picture, delighting in the vibrant blush across Mark’s cheeks, “perfect.”

“Thank you guys, so much.”

“Thank you,” Shepard waved the tickets, “have a great night.”

“You too.”

***

“Popcorn?” Shepard asked after they had found their seats.

“Sure, I’ll go get some.”

“Stay,” Shepard pushed James back into his seat, “I’ll get it. Dinner was expensive.”

“Lola.”

“Sweetheart,” Shepard winked at him, “stay.”

“Fine.”

Shepard skipped down the stairs and from view and James wondered how exactly she had gotten so comfortable in heels, looking around the movie theatre to find that it was mostly empty. 

“Hey, is this seat taken?”

James looked up and found a young woman pointing to Shepard’s seat, “yeah, sorry.”

“Cute guy like you shouldn’t have to watch a movie alone,” the girl tucked some of her long blond hair behind her ear, she was pretty, “my name is Alice.”

“Hi, Alice, nice to meet you, but like I said, the seat is taken.”

“I don’t see anyone here.”

“Getting popcorn,” James hoped Shepard would come back soon, feeling more than a little unsettled.

“We could have a fun night, nothing serious,” Alice closed in on James, “come on, what does the person in that seat have that I don’t have?”

“Thank you, but I’m not interested.”

“Are you sure, what’s so special about your missing date?”

“Where did you want me to start?” Shepard’s voice came from behind Alice, and James watched as Alice turned to face Shepard slowly, “I’m N7, first Human Spectre, I’m the Commander of the most advanced military ship in the Alliance, I’ve been called everything from the Butcher of Torfan to the Hero of the Citadel.” Shepard passed James the popcorn, crossing her arms and leveling a hard look at Alice, “I’m Commander Jane Shepard, who the fuck are you?”

“Oh shit, fine, just leaving,” Alice held up her hands and walked past Shepard, “sorry.”

“Hey,” Shepard called after her, “you’re worth more than trying to steal someone’s boyfriend, go to Purgatory and find yourself a man that wants to spend some time with you. Don’t settle girl.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Alice gave a wave and walked down the steps.

“Sorry, Lola, she wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“No sweat, I figure that might be a bit of an issue when you have a date as good looking as you,” Shepard dropped into her seat, “I can take it.”

“I think you scared her.”

Shepard shrugged, “not my intention, I just wanted her to know that she’s better than that. You’re welcome to go and make her feel better if you want too.”

“Uh, no,” James shook his head, “I’ll pass.”

“If you’re sure,” Shepard grabbed a handful of popcorn as the lights started to dim.

“Very sure.”

***

“If you don’t move your hand I’m going to take you home _right now_ ,” James whispered as he placed his hand over Shepard’s where it was trailing up his inner thigh.

“It’s not a threat if I want it,” Shepard whispered back, “watch the movie.”

“I can’t watch the movie with you teasing me.”

“James, my hand is on your _leg_ , sweetheart, get a grip.”

Shepard was right, and James was glad that the darkness of the theatre covered his blush. Since when was he so weak for a simple touch?

Since it was Shepard who was touching him.

Fuck.

James leaned back into his seat, taking a deep breath.

“Okay?” Shepard glanced at him.

“I’m so lost on you, Lola, you have no idea.”

Shepard smiled, closing the distance between them to kiss James softly, “feeling is mutual.”

***

“Okay, that _was_ awesome,” James watched the credits roll.

“Told you,” Shepard stood and stretched, “it’s one of my favourites.”

“I could tell, you were whispering the words.”

“Sorry, bad habit,” Shepard checked the time, “it’s getting late, did you want to head back or did you have other plans?”

“Oh, I have plans,” James stood, “but we need a bed for them.”

“Lead the way.”


End file.
